I’m back!!
And I’m officially a married woman.
Me and John said “I do” for the third time (iykyk) a few Sundays ago on a farm in Athens last weekend and it was the most epic day.
We held our ceremony outside amongst the olive tress before heading inside a glass cabin for a feast of steak, and all the other meats you can imagine, organic veggies, and homemade bread, Greek dancing, and the iconic bouquet toss.
I’m honestly still getting emotional just thinking about it.
I know we already got legally married last year, but this time we finally got to celebrate with our friends and family so it obviously felt like a much bigger deal.
I even went all out and wore a proper wedding dress (!!) which I got custom-made in Vietnam, and a flower crown.
And I also decided to go completely rogue and not to use a wedding planner. Yes, I planned the entire thing myself and lived to tell the tale.
Here’s exactly what I did to avoid the inevitable wedding stress, bridal burnout, and of course, unnecessary drama.
Hey! If you’re new here, I’m Thalia. I help burnt-out girlies like you build a life that’s aligned, magnetic, and unapologetically yours. Every week(ish) I share content on burnout recovery, career growth, and navigating life in your thirties. Subscribe here so you never miss a debrief.
Bridezilla? More like a bridechilla
If you’ve been reading my blog for longer than 5 minutes, then you’ll know that I like to keep life as stress-free as possible.
I honestly don’t see the point in getting myself worked up over things that, in the grand scheme of things, probably aren’t even that deep. Which is probably why, at 36, I barely have any wrinkles or grey hairs.
Anyway, wedding planning was no different. I remained super frickin chill throughout the most of it. Like forget bridezilla, I’m a bridechilla. (Is that even a thing? Idk, let’s make it a thing.)
Sure, there have been a few frustrating emails from vendors I’ve had to deal with and a last-minute change of plans because of the weather, but other than that, zero stress.
I was able to make decisions quickly and under pressure without breaking down or shedding a drop of sweat.
Looking back now, I don’t think I was chill by accident.
Me and John made the entire wedding process surprisingly manageable by deciding pretty early on what truly mattered to us, and what didn’t.
We wanted our guests to have an amazing time.
We wanted the food to be delicious AF because we’re massive foodies. (We absolutely nailed this, by the way!!)
And there needed to be enough wine, champagne, and cocktails to last the night because there is NOTHING worse than the bar drying up before midnight.
Everything else? Meh.
Our venue was already beautiful and full of character, so there was no need to spend months obsessing over decorations. I also decided to do my own make-up because, a) I can’t bear someone else touching my face, and b) I didn’t care enough about having the “perfect” bridal look to spend months stressing over hair and make-up trials.
Basically, we didn’t treat every single decision like it deserved the same amount of energy. Instead of getting caught up in every little detail, I chose to focus on these five things instead.
5 things I did to avoid wedding stress and bridal burnout
Every wedding is different. So obviously you do you!
I’m not saying you need to do everything I did. I’m just sharing these tips in the hope that they will help you avoid wedding stress, or at least make you feel a little less alone while you plan.
Because I’m not gonna lie, wedding culture has become a little bit like a movie production.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking you need 200 guests, a photo booth, speed boat entrance, and $10k worth of flowers to have your dream wedding.
But you don’t need any of that stuff. Your wedding should come from the heart and reflect what truly matters to YOU.
Sure, you can still be the main character, just don’t lose yourself in the process.
P.S. I encourage you to save this post (like now!!) so you can come back to it whenever you need to.
1 | Get clear on what matters most to you
I know I keep banging on about values, but honestly, they make such a difference when it comes to making decisions.
Before we got too deep into wedding planning, me and John figured out what actually mattered to us.
Food, a venue that reflected us, the right guests, and good music were at the top of that list. Everything else wasn’t as important.
Neither me or John are exactly boujee people. I’m also not a fan of being the centre of attention. We weren’t trying to impress anyone with our wedding. We simply wanted a day that felt like us, where our favourite people could eat, drink, dance, and have a bloody good time.
And that’s exactly what we got.
So before you start making a million decisions, sit down with your fiancé and figure out what you both actually care about. Not what Pinterest says you need, not what your friends did, and not what some wedding magazine tells you is essential.
Get clear on the 3-5 things that matter most to you.
Because once you know that, it becomes a heck of a lot easier to decide where to spend your time, energy, and money.
Action steps
- Reflect: Think about all the times when you felt truly alive, happy and energised
- Identify the values that were present: Was it creativity, connection, freedom, helping others, etc?
- Add to your list: Continue to write down 10-15 values that deeply resonate with you
- Narrow it down to just 5 core values: These will become your guiding principles for making decisions when wedding planning
- Bridge the gap: Use this workbook to help you apply your values to your wedding
2 | Take full control of the planning
I know this one sounds a little counterproductive because surely the whole point of hiring a wedding planner is to take the stress away?
Well, hear me out.
I decided to plan our entire wedding myself, and honestly, I think it helped me stay pretty chill throughout the process.
I know some people absolutely love having a wedding planner handle everything, and if that’s you, go for it. But personally, I love being organised (it’s my therapy), making decisions, and knowing exactly what’s going on.
Of course, that doesn’t mean I did absolutely everything on the wedding day.
I hired a wedding coordinator to make sure everything ran smoothly, which meant I could actually enjoy the day without worrying about whether things were happening when they were supposed to.
And that distinction was important for me. I was happy to take responsibility for the planning, but I didn’t want to spend my wedding day managing it.
I guess what I’m trying to say isn’t that you should 100% plan your own wedding.
It’s that you should think about what kind of support will actually make your life easier, rather than automatically assuming you need to do things a certain way.
If organising everything yourself sounds like your idea of hell, please hire the planner. If you’re a bit of a control freak like me and enjoy having your hands on the details, you might find that doing it yourself works just fine.
Action steps
- List your tasks: Write down everything you need to organise
- Play to your strengths: Identify what you enjoy doing and what you’d rather delegate
- Decide what support you need: Would a wedding planner or coordinator make your life easier?
- Schedule your wed-min: Set time aside each week so it doesn’t take over your life
- Do it your way: Choose an approach that suits your personality, budget and lifestyle
3 | Keep things simple and intimate
One thing that made the whole wedding feel much more manageable was keeping things relatively simple.
We capped our guest list at 60 people because I wanted the wedding to feel like an intimate dinner with our favourite people rather than some massive event.
And that decision influenced so many other things.
We didn’t need a huge venue to accommodate hundreds of guests or create an elaborate experience with a million different things happening throughout the day. We could simply focus on the food, the drinks, the atmosphere, and spending time with the people we actually wanted there.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a big celebration, but I didn’t want to spend months organising a wedding that felt like a full-scale production.
The wedding industry can make you feel like every detail needs to be carefully curated and every corner needs to look incredible in photos. Suddenly, you’re thinking about entertainment, elaborate decorations, favours, photo booths, welcome signs, and a hundred other things you hadn’t even considered before you started planning.
And if you genuinely want those things, amazing! Go for it.
But if you’re only adding them because you think they’re expected, it’s worth asking yourself whether they’re actually going to make your day better.
If you need help with this, go back to step one and get clear on your values first.
Action steps
- Set your guest list: Decide how many people you genuinely want to celebrate with
- Pick your priorities: Choose 3 things you care about most, whether it’s the food, venue or music
- Review the extras: Cut anything that doesn’t feel worth the time, money or effort
- Stick to your vision: Stop adding random things just because
- Simplify your plans: Make “keep it simple stupid” your wedding motto
4 | Delete Instagram
I know I’m starting to sound like a broken record as I can’t seem to get through a blog post these days without badmouthing Instagram, but the truth is, it is the root cause of my burnout.
And it makes wedding planning way more overwhelming than it needs to be.
As soon as I saved a wedding dress I liked for future inspo, my entire feed immediately became full of wedding content. Dresses, venues, flowers, table settings, you name it.
Suddenly, I was being served endless ideas for a day that I already had a pretty clear vision for.
They weren’t just simple ideas either. They were extravagant AF
Social media has turned wedding planning into a bit of a spectacle. There’s always another trend, another aesthetic, or another unnecessary gimmick that you’re apparently supposed to include if you want your day to be special.
For me, stepping away from Instagram helped me avoid getting sucked into that cycle of comparison and constantly feeling like I was doing everything wrong.
I already knew what we wanted our wedding to feel like, and I didn’t need a constant stream of other people’s weddings influencing those decisions.
There’s also something to be said for allowing yourself to make a decision and then moving on. You don’t need to keep searching for a better option once you’ve found something you truly love.
Action steps
- Audit your feed: Notice which accounts inspire you and which make you question your choices
- Unfollow the noise: Mute accounts that make you feel pressured to do more or spend more
- Limit the inspo: Take a break from Instagram if the endless ideas start feeling overwhelming
- Trust your decisions: Once you’ve chosen something you love, stop searching for a better option
- Focus on what matters: Don’t plan a wedding with the intention of impressing others online or IRL
5 | Follow The Anti-Burnout Framework™
Life can get seriously overwhelming when you’re juggling a million different things at once.
You’ve got work, a social life, fitness, family commitments, household chores, and all the little bits of life admin that never seem to end.
Throw wedding planning into the mix and suddenly you’re one minor inconvenience away from a mental breakdown.
That’s why I’m such a big believer in The Anti-Burnout Framework and coming back to the same three things when I’m feeling like I’ve lost control: alignment, mindset and self-care.
These principles allow you to get clear on what matters to you, ditch the beliefs and expectations keeping you stuck, and actually look after yourself throughout the entire process.
Because you can have all the spreadsheets, checklists, and colour-coded calendars in the world, but if your wedding is leaving you stressed AF, something needs to change.
These three areas help you figure out where to start.
Actions steps
- Check in with your values: Make sure your plans reflect what matters to you
- Challenge your mindset: Question the expectations you’re putting on yourself
- Let go of perfection: Focus on what matters, not getting everything right
- Prioritise self-care: Make time for things that help you recharge
- Read Stay & Slay: Put the framework into practice with this definitive guide
Final thoughts
I loved every single second of my wedding.
And that’s because I didn’t allow myself to get caught up in making everything perfect and pleasing everyone.
I made damn well sure that I was my number one priority throughout the entire process.
I’ve seen so many women break down just before their wedding because they simply can’t handle the stress and pressure of trying to keep all their family and friends happy. And I get it.
We want our loved ones to have a good time, right?
The truth is, you can’t please absolutely everyone. It’s impossible.
People will drain your energy. They will expect more from you than you can give. But you don’t have to say yes to everything, meet everyone’s expectations or run yourself into the ground trying to make everyone else happy.
Your needs matter too.
And let’s face it, planning your wedding is not that deep and it doesn’t have to be stressful.
You’ve got this.
Thalia xx
