I feel like everywhere you look on social media, there is a reel or carousel with the title, “How to become your best self.”
And let me tell you, even these posts make me cringe.
So you might be thinking, “Thalia, why did you use the same words for this blog post?”
Well, first of all, I wanted to get your attention. And second of all, there’s really no better way to describe the person you want to be or the life you want to live than by using the terms “your best self” or “your best life.”
So, we’ll go with it.
But bear in mind that your journey might not look like becoming your best self. It might look like becoming your healthiest, most favourite or balanced self. That is why I have chosen to use quotation marks on either side of the word best.
So this is your permission slip to do things on your own terms.
I invite you to reframe the title in a way that works for you or replace “best” with whatever adjective suits you and your needs. You might even want to drop the adjectives altogether and simply use 2.0 self.
Or, simply leave it how it is. The choice is yours.
P.S. If you’re new here, hey! I’m Thalia. I help burnt-out girlies like you build a life that’s aligned, magnetic, and unapologetically yours. Every week(ish), I share content on burnout recovery, self-development, finding joy, and career growth. Subscribe here so you never miss a debrief.
Let’s talk about your best self
Simply put, your best self means living authentically.
It is staying true to yourself and living in alignment with your values. It is being capable and having the ability to work towards your goals each day. This means being mentally and physically healthy as well as being in tune with your strengths and personal aspirations,
It also means being aware of your weaknesses and anything else that can hold you back.
By striving to become your best self, you are committing to a journey of self-discovery and self-development.
This journey may involve developing new skills, forming new habits, or changing your mindset.
And it is almost never linear.
There will be great moments, there will be messy moments, and there will be slow moments. But by building the foundations and persisting through challenges and setbacks, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
In short, becoming your best self means unlocking your full potential and living your life to the fullest.
Other benefits of knowing what your best self and life look like include:
- Achieving your own version of success and happiness
- Gaining clarity on your personal core values
- Focusing time and energy on what truly matters to you
- Setting realistic and meaningful goals
- Making decisions that align with your values and goals
- Building self-confidence and self-esteem
- Overcoming self-doubt and fear of failure
- Strengthening the relationships you have with yourself as well as others
- Living a more fulfilling and rewarding life
- Being truly authentic and living an aligned life
7 Steps to becoming your best self
Tips 1 to 4 are absolutely essential in creating your best life.
It is not enough to lie in your bed, manifesting your dreams, in the hope that they will one day come true.
You need to take action, and this all starts with getting clear on your core values, defining what success means to you, setting value-driven goals and being crystal clear on what your future vision looks like.
Tips 5-7 are more health-related.
I believe that productivity and success are intrinsically linked to health and wellness.
If your well-being isn’t being taken care of, then you can’t show up every day as your best self and perform as well as you want to.
So get super clear on what optimum health looks like to you and build a wellness routine around this.
This blog post was written with the intention that you save it and keep it somewhere accessible so you can refer back to it whenever you need to. So I encourage you to bookmark it, take screenshots or highlight sections and pin the graphics on Pinterest.
Do what works best for you, always.
1 | Define your own version of success (soul-related)
Just like with wellness, everyone has their own version of success. And that’s ok.
But in a world where productivity, appearance and money dictate how successful you are, it’s easy to feel a little bit inadequate sometimes. Comparing yourself with others can easily make you feel as though you’re not good enough. Especially if you choose to follow a path different from what is expected of you.
There seems to be this age-old illusion that success means getting married before 30, having kids before turning 35, buying a house and having a “competitive” job that pays you a 6-figure salary.
And unfortunately, this is how most people still view success.
But honestly, success can be whatever you want it to be.
Not what the world and people around you think it should be.
And you can’t begin to become your best self and start living your best life if you are not clear on what success looks like to you.
When you are unclear about your own definition of success, it’s easy to get caught up in other people’s expectations and opinions and to make decisions based on what you think you “should” do rather than what you actually want to do.
This can leave you feeling unfulfilled, unsatisfied and disconnected from your true self.
By taking the time to reflect on what success means to you, you can gain clarity and start taking action towards creating the life you want.
Action steps:
- Reflect: When was the last time you felt successful? What contributed to those feelings?
- Find the pattern: List other moments that made you feel truly accomplished
- Pinpoint what lights you up: Identify what motivates you and gets you excited to wake up
- Get to know your energy givers: Map out what brings you joy, meaning, and fulfilment
- Visualise it: Picture your ideal future self — how are they successful?
2 | Map out your core values (soul-related)
Core values are your fundamental beliefs.
They are the things that are most important to you and guide your behaviours, decisions, and actions.
When you know what your core values are, you can give more meaning to your life.
Since becoming clear on my own core values, I’ve felt even more grounded within myself. For the past 5 years, I’ve been on a self-discovery journey, which has recently led me to become a digital nomad.
When so many of your friends and family question your choices and ask, “When are you going to return to the UK and settle down?” you begin to question your own lifestyle and whether you are actually making the right decisions.
But getting clear on what is most important to me has solidified that how I currently choose to live is in alignment with my core values.
Having spent the majority of my life directionless and feeling lost, I now have a purpose that fuels me daily and excites me to wake up every morning. I now live and breathe my core values as they are the foundation of the life I have created for myself.
So do not skip this step!
When you are in tune with your core values and living in alignment with them each day, you can feel more fulfilled and have a greater sense of self-worth and happiness. Which, in my opinion, leads to living your best life.
If you haven’t done this exercise with me yet, I 100% suggest doing it now and following along with this step-by-step breakdown.
Action steps:
- Reflect: Think about all the times when you felt truly alive, happy and energised
- Identify the values that were present: Was it creativity, connection, freedom, helping others, etc?
- Add to your list: Continue to write down 10-15 values that deeply resonate with you
- Narrow it down to just 5 core values: These will become your guiding principles for making decisions
- Bridge the gap: Use this workbook to help you apply your values IRL
3 | Set value-driven goals (soul-related)
Once you’ve defined your version of success and mapped out your core values, you can then begin to set goals that you actually want to achieve.
One of the main reasons why people fail to reach their goals is that they are setting the wrong goals.
If a goal is not something that you truly want to achieve deep down inside, then chances are you won’t be able to progress towards it or even reach it. In short, you can’t force something to work if the passion and commitment aren’t there to begin with.
So set goals that are driven by your values.
Don’t just set goals you think you “should” achieve because society tells you it’s the norm
It’s these value-driven goals that will serve as your roadmap towards creating a life you truly want.
A life that gives you purpose and makes you excited to wake up.
It’s also important to note that no goal is ever set in stone.
Things change and evolve over time. And that is completely normal and ok. But by having a better sense of where you want to go in life and who you want to be, it is easier to stay on track and make adjustments as needed.
Action steps:
- Start with why: Get clear on why you want this goal and how it’ll actually impact your life
- Get clear on your values: Follow the framework above
- Set value-driven goals: Match your goals to your values and check the impact each one will have
- Use the SMARTER framework: Make your goals specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-based, exciting and rewarded
- Break it down: Turn your goals into small, manageable steps and focus on one at a time
4 | Write a letter to your future self (soul-related)
Imagine it is 3, 6 or 12 months from now.
You have either reached your goals or are getting consistently closer to them.
How do you see your best future self? How do they act, feel, look, believe, etc? Where do they live, work, exercise, etc?
Getting clear on how you envision your future self is the crux of your overall life-work-health vision (whatever you want to call it). It serves as the compass that will guide you to living on your own terms and keep you motivated even when things get tough.
To gain a better understanding of your future self, try this visualisation technique:
- Sit somewhere quiet
- Close your eyes
- Begin to visualise your future; be descriptive of how it looks and how you feel
- Pay close attention to the emotions and feelings that arise
If you are new to visualisation and unsure of where to start, use these journal prompts to help guide you.
Once you have a clear image of your future, capture all of these thoughts and feelings by writing your desired outcome in a letter addressed to your future self. Use the first person so it feels even more tangible and real.
For example, “I am living a balanced life in a way that works for me. I am travelling the world, and the relationship I have with myself is stronger than ever. I have fewer bad days and more days where I wake up every morning feeling excited, motivated and ambitious. I feel happy and loved. I am having fun. I am confident and self-assured, and I feel at my healthiest, balanced and happiest. I am discovering and exploring new places all the time and not just standing still. I am constantly moving and progressing. I am extremely proud of my progress and of myself because all of the choices I made before and the sacrifices have finally paid off. I am finally being listened to, heard and appreciated.”
Action steps:
- Picture future you: Fast forward 3, 6, or 12 months and imagine the version of you who’s hit their goals — how do they act, feel, dress, live, etc?
- Set the scene: Close your eyes, and visualise that future in as much detail as you can
- Feel it out: Notice the emotions that come up as you picture it, that’s your compass
- Write the letter: Capture it all in a letter to future you — written in first person
- Make it official: Turn your letter into a vision board so you’ve got a daily reminder to “manifest” it
5 | Master your daily habits (soul and health-related)
We’ve all heard the famous quote, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” (Aristotle)
Yet, many of us still hold on to habits that are either not healthy or do not benefit us in any way. (I’d need a whole new blog post to explain the depth of why this is.)
So, if you want to truly become your best self, then you need to start building and maintaining healthy habits.
A healthy habit is anything you repeatedly do that positively contributes to your physical, mental or emotional well-being and benefits you long-term. Yes, scrolling on your phone might give you short-term gratification, but how is it contributing to your health in the long term?
One way to start mastering your daily habits is by setting up a morning routine that helps set the tone for the rest of your day. Whether it’s stretching, meditating or reading, having a morning ritual in place can help you start your day on the right foot.
Another tip is to surround yourself with positive influences. Whether it’s a supportive friend or a motivational podcast, surrounding yourself with positivity can help reinforce healthy habits and keep you motivated.
And finally, don’t forget to give yourself grace. It’s totally normal to have bad days, but the most important thing is to pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. Remember, progress, not perfection, is the goal.
By mastering your daily habits, you can create a healthier, happier and more fulfilling life.
So, start small, stay positive, and keep working towards your best self.
You’ve got this!
Action steps:
- Set your intention: Why do you want to build this habit? How will it actually benefit you?
- Make it specific: Turn vague goals into clear, tangible actions, and try habit stacking to attach them to something you already do
- Make it fun: Find the most enjoyable version of the habit so it doesn’t feel like a chore
- Start small: Pick one or two habits to begin with and stay consistent, even on the off days
- Track it: Use a habit tracker to see your progress and celebrate the wins along the way
6 | Build a wellness routine that works for you (health-related)
As I mentioned earlier, productivity and wellness are fundamentally linked.
You can’t show up every day as your best, most productive self if you are denying your mind and body the self-care they need.
Hence why I’m always encouraging you to build a daily routine that not only allows you to prioritise your health and well-being but also helps you to create healthy habits that support your goals and daily achievements.
When you feel at your best, you are better equipped to tackle any challenges that come your way and still manage to make progress towards your goals.
I also need to note how important it is to build a wellness routine that works for you! (Am I sounding like a broken record yet?)
Don’t just copy what you see your favourite influencer doing on TikTok (a.k.a. drinking a green smoothie at 5 am) because this might not work for you. Remember, being your best self is all about staying true to who you are.
So just like with your life goals (above), make sure your health goals also align with you, your personality and your lifestyle.
For example, don’t force yourself to go to the gym if you hate working out at the gym. Find a physical activity that you actually enjoy. You’ll also find that if you build your wellness routine in this way, you are more likely to stick to it and be consistent.
Action steps:
- Start with why: Get clear on what you actually want to change and why
- Create your wellness vision: Capture how you want to feel and revisit it when motivation dips
- Think holistic: Look at your whole life, not just the physical, and rate each area to spot what needs attention
- Set manageable goals: Ease into goals that fit naturally into your daily routine
- Reflect and stay flexible: Journal often, set boundaries on what you consume, and adjust as your needs evolve
7 | Practice these 5 wellness principles daily (health-related)
Regardless of what your wellness routine may look like, there are 5 basic wellness principles that you still need to practice daily.
And they are:
- Sleep
- Nutrition
- Exercise
- Habits
- Self-care
It’s not rocket science to figure out that the combination of these 5 things will lead you to a healthier, happier, more balanced life.
Which will ultimately lead you to become your best self.
You’ll also find that each principle supports the other:
Regular exercise improves sleep quality. Good sleep reduces your cravings for sugary and unhealthy foods. A well-balanced diet provides energy for exercise. Self-care advocates for rest and allows you to make these wellness practices a daily priority. Building habits encourages exercise, nutrition, sleep and self-care. Because to do all of these things, you need to get into the “habit”.
By prioritising these 5 basic wellness principles, you will not only feel better physically and mentally, but you will also be setting yourself up for “success” (in quotations because, as we discussed earlier, success is subjective) in all areas of your life.
Action steps:
- Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours and stay consistent
- Move daily: Keep it simple with a walk, yoga, or swim, switching things up to keep it fun
- Eat well: Try your best to choose whole foods over overly processed foods
- Build healthy habits: Get specific with your actions and shape them around what actually suits you
- Self-care: Carve out even 10 minutes a day for something that brings you joy
Final thoughts
Remember, no matter where you are headed, make your journey your own.
Stop allowing unrealistic content from social media influencers to dictate your actions. And certainly don’t subscribe to other people’s definition of success.
Become the CEO of your own life and do things on your terms.
You’ve got this.
Thalia xx
