I know I said I wouldn’t scroll on Instagram.
(In case you missed it — I’m currently in my offline era, but it is turning out harder than I thought.)
It’s like meta knows I want to quit this bad habit, so it throws something at me that I’ve never seen before and keeps me engaged. A trend that I thought was a joke, but turns out it’s not a joke.
When I first started debunking morning routines back in 2021, I was genuinely being funny and overdramatic when I said, “You don’t need to indulge in a 12-step skincare routine.”
Like what girlie with a 9-to-5 job, has time for a 12-step skincare routine?
Turns out 12-steps was a complete underestimation.
Because in this past week alone, I’ve been shown countless (and I mean countless!!) skincare routine videos that are borderline insane. Lip tape, night masks, jaw sculpting tools, under eye patches, face shaving, the list goes on.
I know, I know, this unrealistic content infuriates me, so why don’t I just mute it from my feed?!
But I have to admit I was curious. Not at the routines themselves. I would never. But because of the time, energy, and cost they take to keep up with.
It’s overwhelming AF.
And I couldn’t help but think… are these skincare routines burning us out? (Carrie Bradshaw is back, baby!!)
P.S. If you’re new here, hey! I’m Thalia. I help burnt-out girlies in their 30s unf*ck their life through 1:1 coaching and self-paced tools. Every week(ish), I share content on burnout recovery, self-development, finding joy, and career growth. Subscribe here so you never miss a debrief.
Do you have wellness burnout?
Before I do a deep dive into the insane skincare routines currently clogging up our feeds, let me first explain why self-optimisation is actually working against you.
We’re constantly told to strive to be our best selves. We push harder at the gym, overhaul our diets, optimise our mornings, and track every habit under the sun, all in the name of personal growth.
There’s this endless pressure to do more, be more, experience more.
It’s no wonder we’re exhausted. We’re not just burnt out at work anymore. We’re burnt out in all aspects of life (including our self-care).
Oh, the irony!
The stuff that is supposed to help you recover from burnout has turned into yet another item on your todo list. Another standard to meet, another routine to nail, another product to add to your cart. We’ve been influenced to believe that a 12-step skincare routine, supplements on tap, and 10,000 steps per day are just some of the things we need to feel like a high-value woman.
But I’m calling bullsh*t because this new wave of “influencer” wellness is just noise; it doesn’t actually make us feel better. If anything, it makes us feel even more overwhelmed.
Other red flags include:
- You feel guilty about skipping any part of your routine
- Self-care is just another check box item
- Rest feels like something you have to earn
- You’ve got supplements you’ve never opened
- You’re exhausted, but keep adding more to fix it
- Planning your wellness takes longer than actually doing it
- A simple bath doesn’t feel like enough anymore
The 12-step skincare routine that’s ruining your peace
Haven’t you heard?
Optimal wellness now looks like waking up in a silicone mask, jaw strap, mouth tape, under-eye patches, and heatless hair curlers (that were applied the night before) — only to take it all off and replace it with five serums, another facial roller, and a red light panel.
Like, I’m not even kidding.
These are the skincare routine videos currently being pushed out on my explore page, and I’m supposed to treat them as normal behaviour?
And honestly, I can’t even tell if some of the morning shed trend is serious or just exaggerated for engagement. But the comment section tells a completely different story.
Girlies are asking for product links, saving the routine, and talking about how they’re going to try it tomorrow because they genuinely believe this is what it takes to have good skin.
The thing is, when you’re already burnt out, your mind tricks you into believing that all of this stuff matters. That this endless list of viral tools and miracle serums might finally make you feel younger, healthier, more “snatched”, and more put-together.
Like, maybe the missing piece of the puzzle is a $300 LED mask.
But what no one in these videos is telling you is that you don’t need any of it. You’re not falling behind if you don’t wake up at 5 am to start a 12-step skincare regimen. You’re no less of a woman because your routine consists only of soap and water.
You’re exhausted. You’re overwhelmed. And the last thing you need is another routine to perfect.
You need less.
Wellness was supposed to be the antidote to burnout, but at some point, it became another source of it.
Notes by Thalia
What to do instead (not to sound like a broken record)
If you’re wondering if you should buy into the hype, do these 3 things first, because I guarantee what you need right now isn’t a jawline shaper or silicone face mask.
P.S. I encourage you to save this post (like now!!) so you can come back to it whenever you need to.
1 | Map out your core values
Your values are your soul principles — what you actually stand for when you strip away all the noise. And when you’re genuinely clear on those, it becomes a lot easier to figure out what deserves your time and energy.
Maybe self-care is important to you, but so is simplicity. Or rest. Or not spending $200 a month on anti-wrinkle creams.
When you know what you actually value, you stop outsourcing that decision to an influencer with a discount code. Your skincare routine (and probably, your entire approach to wellness) gets to be built around your life, not someone else’s aesthetic.
If you’re curious about where to start, comment VALUES below, and I’ll send you the exact framework I use with my clients to help them figure out what drives them, what drains them, and what’s actually worth their time and energy.
2 | Focus on the basics
Sleep. Movement. Good nutrition. That’s it.
I know, I know, not exactly groundbreaking stuff, but hear me out, because we’ve somehow convinced ourselves that the basics aren’t enough and we need to be doing more.
If you’re getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night, moving your body, keeping hydrated, and eating a reasonably balanced diet, you do not need an elaborate skincare routine.
Trust me. I’m 35, I cleanse and moisturise my face once a day — usually in the morning. That’s it. And I’ve been told I look 25. I’m not saying that to brag. I’m just saying, you don’t always need to use the most expensive or popular products.
Stick to what works for you and your skin, no matter how bloody simple it is.
3 | Take agency over your wellness
The wellness industry has gotten very good at disguising marketing as self-care advice. And when it’s coming from someone you genuinely like and trust online, it’s even harder to clock.
So next time your fave influencer is raving about a product and sliding you a 10% discount code, just pause for a second to question their intentions. Ask yourself:
- Who is the brand they’re promoting?
- What ingredients are these products made of?
- Do I even need what they’re selling?
If you’ve got a simple routine that’s working for you, the answer is probably no. I know I’m being a bit of a party pooper and taking the fun out of TikTok shop, but we’re not talking about buying a cute journal here.
We’re talking about what you’re putting on your skin every single day. (1000% recommend using Yuka by the way.)
Influencers only ever tell half the story. Their skin might look incredible, but that’s got nothing to do with the $80 serum they’re pushing, and everything to do with genetics, lighting, and a very good editor.
Learn to read between the lines, do your own research first, and stop letting the algorithm decide what your body needs.
The stuff that is supposed to help us beat burnout has turned into another standard to meet. We’ve been influenced to believe that a 12-step skincare routine, supplement subscription, and 10K steps per day are just some of the things we need to feel like a high-value woman.
Notes by Thalia
Final thoughts
Wellness was supposed to be the antidote to burnout, but at some point, it became another source of it.
And the wild thing is, most of us don’t even realise it’s happening. We’ve just accepted that spending hundreds on new clothes and skincare products, taking half a dozen supplements, and walking around the house just to hit 10,000 steps is normal.
That’s just life in your 30s, right?
But I don’t think it is. I think we’ve been sold an impossibly high standard of self-development and told it’s self-care. And when we inevitably can’t keep up, we don’t blame the standard — we blame ourselves.
Wellness burnout is real, it’s exhausting, and it goes way deeper than just your skincare routine. This is honestly just the tip of the iceberg, and I’ve got a lot more to say on it — so I’m considering turning this into a full series. Let’s call this part one.
In the meantime, give yourself permission to do less. Your three-step routine is most definitely enough.
Remember, self-care doesn’t need to be earned, optimised, documented, or even monetised for that matter. And it sure as hell doesn’t have to look like spending 45-minutes pruning your skin or drinking green juice at sunrise (unless that’s your vibe, because it sure ain’t mine).
Self-care is the foundation that keeps you grounded, energised, and able to show up fully for yourself.
And it comes down to simple habits that seamlessly fit into your lifestyle and support your wellbeing even when life gets messy.
You’ve got this.
Thalia xx
