Fun fact: I used to work in the fashion industry. Literally hustle culture in a nutshell.
Yes, this anti-burnout girlie had a toxic AF job that was basically 24/7.
I’d wake up to a dozen urgent emails, spend the day bouncing between calls, meetings, and scouting events, deal with disappointed models and demanding clients, and somehow still make it out that night pretending I had it all together.
At first, it was manageable.
I was 21, fresh out of Uni and full of energy. I had big dreams, ambitious AF goals, and was ready to make iconic moves in my career and have an impact. (Being a celebrity stylist was literally at the top of my vision board.)
But slowly, the daily grind began to chip away at my capacity and confidence. And it didn’t take long for my hunger to fade.
By the time I turned 26, I was burnt out, anxious, and totally disconnected from myself.
I couldn’t cope anymore. I was working crazy hours, felt constantly on edge, and used partying as an escape from a job that was slowly sucking the life out of me.
I’d romanticised the grind for way too long — saying yes to everything, overdelivering to prove myself, taking on more work, and getting barely any sleep because I didn’t know how to slow down.
And it had finally caught up with me.
Since doing a complete 180° in my career (I’m now a certified health coach, woo!), it’s become clear that my story isn’t unique.
For most of the gals I work with, something shifts around 27 or 28.
What once felt exciting, like the late nights, the office gossip, and working under pressure, starts to feel exhausting.
You begin to question if the long hours, the stress, and burnout are actually worth it and whether you’re even building a career that feels fulfilling in the first place.
So, if you’re anything like my current clients, and in that space now — craving slowness, softness, and actual alignment — don’t worry, I’ve got you.
P.S. If you’re new here, hey! I’m Thalia. I help burnt-out girlies in their 30s unf*ck their life through 1:1 coaching and self-paced tools. Every week(ish), I share content on burnout recovery, self-development, finding joy, and career growth. Subscribe here so you never miss a debrief.
Why hustle culture sucks
Since starting this blog 5 years ago, hustle culture has become one of my favourite topics to debunk.
Because it literally sucks.
Yes, it has its perks. Your company loves it because things get done quickly and efficiently, and the money rolls in. On a personal level, it makes you feel like you’re unstoppable (until you’re not) — you’re growing fast, achieving your goals, and moving the needle forward every single day.
But let’s be real… It sucks.
Hustle culture tricks you into thinking you’re chasing success when really, you’re just chasing validation.
I watched myself lose sight of who I truly was because I was constantly looking for approval and tying my worth to how much I could handle. And I’ve seen it happen to other women.
My clients come to me feeling completely exhausted and fed up because they’ve been running on empty for far too long, trying to keep up with expectations that don’t even make them happy.
Hustle culture is one of the biggest culprits of burnout (our arch nemesis).
But it also leaves you feeling:
- Numb and disconnected: You’ve lost your spark and nothing excites you anymore
- Behind: Even though you’re working overtime, you still feel like you’re not doing enough
- Confused AF: You’re questioning everything from your job to your friends, and you just don’t know what you’re passionate about anymore
- Scared: You know something has to change, but you’re worried things will fall apart if you slow down
- Really bloody miserable: Because deep down, you know this isn’t how life’s supposed to feel
Prefer to watch and listen? I’ve got you.
Hit play on my latest YouTube video, where I break down how you can step off the hamster wheel and finally start living in a way that feels grounded, peaceful, and sustainable.
Don’t forget to bring your journal, you’re going to want to take notes.
How to break up with hustle culture in your 30s
Okay, so the solution here is NOT to quit your job. Yes, you read that right.
Because let’s be honest, it’s not that simple.
Walking away from the only version of success you’ve ever known is terrifying. You’re not just walking away from your job, you’re walking away from your entire identity, your safety net, the proof that you’ve made it.
The good news (I’m such a lover of good news)… There is a way to break up with hustle culture without burning your entire career down to the ground.
It requires you to redefine what success looks like, connect with what truly matters, and rewire your beliefs around rest.
Let’s break it down…
P.S. I encourage you to save this post (like now!!) so you can come back to it whenever you need to.
1 | Define what success looks like to you
From a very young age, we’re taught that money and appearance dictate how valuable we are.
We make money so we can spend it on expensive clothes, designer handbags, and other material possessions just so we can impress others. We chase societal norms so we can look like we’ve got our shit together, but no matter how much we do accomplish, it never feels good enough.
This is exactly what keeps us stuck in a hustle mentality. And to break free, you need to separate yourself from the mould. (I mean, it clearly hasn’t worked for you, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this blog post.)
So ask yourself, “What does success really look like for me?”
Because it might not be a 100k salary a year and a 2-bedroom high-rise apartment in the city. If it is, then great — you do you. But if it’s not, then that’s okay too.
Success is no longer one-size-fits-all. It is unique to you.
For me, success is more of a feeling — it’s happiness, it’s joy, it’s having the freedom to think for myself and go about my day without anyone telling me what I can and cannot do.
Yes, it’s scary AF to admit what you really want in life, but without that self-awareness, it’s so easy to get caught up in the hustle — in other people’s expectations — and base your entire identity on being an overachiever.
And then, probably after 5 or 10 years, when you hit 40, you’ll have the same realisation that climbing the corporate ladder is still not what you want anymore.
Action steps:
- Reflect: When was the last time you felt successful? What contributed to those feelings?
- Find the pattern: List other moments that made you feel truly accomplished
- Pinpoint what lights you up: Identify what motivates you and gets you excited to wake up
- Get to know your energy givers: Map out what brings you joy, meaning, and fulfilment
- Visualise it: Picture your ideal future self — how are they successful?
2 | Align with your core values
Core values are literally the difference between feeling driven in your job and feeling drained.
They are the foundation of everything. (Am I starting to sound like a broken record yet?!)
If you’re not clear on who you are and what you care most deeply about, your career (and life) will always feel like a grind.
It’ll always feel like something is missing, and you’ll end up hustling harder in your job (to the point of exhaustion), just to make up for it, hoping your next promotion or pay rise will magically fix that emptiness.
But the god honest truth is — you can’t hustle your way out of misalignment.
It doesn’t work.
If you’re not being true to yourself, if you’re living a lie and working for a company that you don’t respect or agree with, or doing work that sucks the life out of you, then you will continue to feel miserable and hate your job.
Change starts when you know what TF you stand for.
Maybe in your twenties, it was leadership and recognition, but now it’s autonomy, joy, and health.
Once you’re clear on what your values are, you can start to rebuild your role to support them and stop pouring your energy into things that don’t serve you.
If you haven’t done this exercise with me yet, I 100% suggest doing it now and following along with this step-by-step breakdown.
Action steps:
- Reflect: Think about all the times when you felt truly alive, happy and energised
- Identify the values that were present: Was it creativity, connection, freedom, helping others, etc?
- Add to your list: Continue to write down 10-15 values that deeply resonate with you
- Narrow it down to just 5 core values: These will become your guiding principles for making decisions
- Bridge the gap: Use this workbook to help you apply your values IRL
3 | Rewire your beliefs (especially around rest)
I think the hardest part about letting go of hustle culture is realising how deeply it’s wired into who you are.
We’ve grown up being told that busy equals success. That if you aren’t making X amount, climbing the corporate ladder, waking up at 5 am, or squeezing value out of every second of the day, you’re falling behind.
Even now, 7 years after I quit my job, I still believe I’m lazy because I’m not a morning person. That it somehow makes me less of an adult – less ambitious, less career-driven.
It’s this belief that keeps me stuck believing I’ll never be successful.
But what I’m slowly coming to terms with is that we are built differently. Just because I don’t wake up at 5 am doesn’t mean I’m less productive than someone who does.
This is how you stop getting sucked back into the hustle.
By being so grounded in your truth that you can silence that inner voice telling you, “You’re not clever enough, productive enough, or worthy enough,” or even, “You can sleep when you’re dead.”
Action steps
- Write down one negative belief you have about rest: Like “If I’m not productive, I’m falling behind,” “I’m lazy for resting”
- Reflect on where this belief came from: Was it a boss who only noticed you when you went above and beyond, parents who praised achievement over effort, or years of tying productivity to your worth
- Challenge this belief: List all the ways this isn’t true
- Reframe this belief into a more empowering statement: e.g. “I don’t need to do more to be enough,” or “Rest isn’t lazy — it’s how I stay sane and protect my energy”
- Repeat this work consistently: New limiting beliefs will always pop up, but the more you practice, the easier self-acceptance becomes
4 | Work slower (and smarter)
Just so we’re clear… I don’t want you to stop caring. Breaking up with the hustle culture doesn’t mean completely checking out and doing the bare minimum.
That’s not what this framework is about.
It’s about finding a softer, more intentional way to work. One where you don’t push yourself to breaking point to prove your worth.
It’s about choosing to take a step back from the rat race and focus on what truly matters to you. And making sure you’re chasing the right things — aka the stuff that actually lights you up — not what keeps others happy.
I might not wake up at 5 am every morning, I might not work my arse off for 8 hours every day, but I’m still career-driven. I still love working hard, and I still have ambitious AF goals. I’ve just learnt that if they’re not aligned with who I am or where I’m heading, they’ll burn me out every single time.
Slow productivity helps you strip things back and still get shit done without losing your sanity in the process.
Action steps
- Read Slow Productivity: Take notes from Cal Newport and begin to honour his 3 principles
- Do fewer things: Let go of busy work and just focus on what actually matters. For me, this is always 3 things per day. Nothing more
- Work at a natural pace: Sync your routine to your energy, menstrual cycle, and what’s happening IRL because it’s impossible to show up and give 100% every single day
- Obsess over quality: Go all in on what’s worth it (aka things that move the needle forward) and let the rest be good enough (aka stop rewriting an email for the fourth time)
- Go back to step 2: These principles will only work if you’re clear on the bigger picture. Don’t just do less for the sake of it. Do less of what doesn’t align with you and more of what lights you up
5 | Start honouring your own boundaries
I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
Boundaries are what hold everything together. They protect the version of you that you’re becoming.
Most people think setting boundaries at work is about saying “no” to other people. But what it really comes down to is holding yourself to the same standard you hold everyone else to.
Because if you can’t respect your own time, it’s hard to expect anyone else to.
You need to start showing up for yourself. Not just once, but over and over again with consistency, with compassion, and without apology.
That’s how you break the cycle.
Action Steps
- Put yourself first: Start asking, “What do I need right now?” before you put everyone else’s needs above your own
- Use the “let them” theory: Let people be who they are, without trying to change, fix or micro-manage them (because the truth is, you can’t control other people) and then shift the focus back to yourself and what you can control, e.g. your choices, your emotions, your boundaries, etc.
- Challenge negative self-talk: The next time a negative thought pops up, ask: Is this trash or a tool? Bin the BS and move on
- Create white space: Block 15–30 mins a day to just be
- Keep your own promises: Boundaries mean nothing if you break them every time someone pushes your limit. You’ve got to follow through with what you say and mean it. So don’t just set boundaries— honour them
How to take this work deeper
This is the book I wish I had when I was deep in burnout and thought the only way out was quitting.
Don’t get me wrong, my job was toxic, and I knew I couldn’t stay. But after walking away, it took me a good few years to figure out how to actually heal and build a career that I love.
Stay & Slay is everything I learnt along the way (minus all the trial and error).
It breaks down The Anti-Burnout Framework™ into a digestible roadmap that teaches you how to rebuild your confidence and stop letting your job run your life.
You’ll learn the truth about what’s actually causing your burnout and how to fix it from the inside out so you can finally feel energised, fulfilled, and back in control.
And because I’m not here to waste your time, it comes with a 50-page workbook so you can implement every strategy and actually see results IRL
Final thoughts
Hustle culture isn’t just embedded in the workplace. It’s also seeped into the wellness industry, especially the self-development space.
We’re constantly told to strive to be our best selves. We push harder at the gym, overhaul our diets, optimise our morning routines, and track every habit under the sun, all in the name of growth.
There’s this endless pressure to do more, be more, experience more.
It’s no wonder we’re exhausted all the time. We’re not just burnt out in our jobs, we’re burnt out in all aspects of life to the point where our minds can’t even switch off anymore.
Even when we’re supposed to be resting, we’re scrolling on social media, consuming more skincare tips, more productivity hacks, more recipes, more people’s lives, more places to visit.
And then there’s the content telling us that rest is productive. Like… must everything we do be productive? Can we not just rest because it’s a basic human need?!
I never want to add to the noise, which is why you’ll find that a lot of my frameworks all follow the same pattern:
- Alignment
- Mindset
- Self-care
This is what it all comes down to.
Alignment helps you find clarity on what you truly want. Mindset helps you believe in it. Self-care helps you sustain it.
Once you start living by these 3 pillars, things change fast. You stop feeling behind, you stop questioning yourself, and you finally start building a career (and life) that you absolutely love.
You’ve got this.
Thalia xx
