Let me set the scene.
You clock off at 6 pm, close your laptop and walk out the office door. Your mind has switched off, and you’re ready to melt into the couch for the evening and not have to think about another “urgent” Slack message from Karen.
But your body has other plans.
Your shoulders are hunched, your jaw is clenched, and your heart is beating faster than usual. You scroll on TikTok to take the edge off and unwind, but it’s not helping.
You open the fridge thinking food might help, but nothing looks good, and cooking feels like an effort, so you order takeout instead.
You head to bed at 10 pm but spend hours tossing and turning. You’re completely exhausted but unable to actually fall asleep.
If this sounds all too familiar, you’re not alone.
This was me most evenings during my twenties, when I was working at what I thought was my dream job and thought evening anxiety was just part of the job description.
Turns out, my nervous system was completely f*cked, and no amount of wine, scrolling, or Netflix was ever going to fix it.
But once I figured out what was actually going on, it was a pretty quick fix.
So let’s get into why it happens and how to actually regulate your nervous system after a long day at work.
P.S. If you’re new here, hey! I’m Thalia. I help burnt-out girlies like you build a life that’s aligned, magnetic, and unapologetically yours. Every week(ish), I share content on burnout recovery, self-development, finding joy, and career growth. Subscribe here so you never miss a debrief.
Signs your nervous system needs regulating
I know I bang on all the time about how burnout affects your mental and emotional health (and it absolutely does), but let’s not forget it messes with your body first.
Especially your nervous system.
When you’re in a stressful job and feel like you’re constantly putting out fires, your sympathetic nervous system gets really good at staying in fight-or-flight mode.
Every last-minute deadline, every passive-aggressive email, every office nightmare has trained your body to stay alert.
So when you decide you’re done for the day, your mind might be able to switch off, but your body didn’t get the memo.
That’s because your cortisol is still elevated, your heart rate hasn’t settled, and your muscles are holding onto tension you stopped noticing a long time ago.
This is textbook nervous system dysregulation.
And for me, it also looked like:
- Feeling anxious without ever explaining why
- Struggling to fall asleep even though I was exhausted
- Reaching for my phone the second I felt uncomfortable or had nothing to do
- Snapping at people (mainly my mum) over nothing
- Feeling weirdly on edge in situations that shouldn’t be stressful (aka doing the weekly shop or meeting new people)
- Drinking half a bottle of wine a night to calm my nerves
- Getting irrationally irritated by small things (slow walkers were literally my pet peeve in London)
- Not being able to relax
What actually helps your nervous system relax
I hate to break it to you, but any advice telling you to “just relax” is pointless.
You can be lying on the couch, glass of wine in hand, Gilmore Girls on, and still feel on edge. Because as far as your body’s concerned, something bad is about to happen.
And you can’t just think your way out of it (or “take a chill pill”).
Your nervous system doesn’t speak English. It speaks in temperature, breath, pressure, and safety cues. Which means the only way to shift it is through the body, not the mind.
The things that tell your nervous system it’s safe are:
- Warmth on the skin (e.g. bath, shower, heating pad, sauna)
- Breathing exercises (hot tip: exhale longer than you inhale — it activates the vagus nerve)
- Weight or gentle pressure (e.g. weighted blanket, hugs, lying flat on the floor)
- Slow rhythmic movement (e.g. walking, stretching, swaying while you do chores)
- Darkness and quiet (e.g. mood lighting, low music, candles)
And whilst I’m here, I might as well remind you of the stuff that might feel relaxing but is actually doing more harm than good.
The things to avoid after work are:
- Doomscrolling
- Binge-watching mindless TV shows on Netflix
- Ordering takeout for the fourth time this week or drinking excessively
- Checking Slack or work emails
- Venting to your friends or loved ones about your day
How to regulate your nervous system after work
Part three of my anti-burnout framework focuses on self-care. (The very thing that Notes by Thalia was built on.)
What I see corporate girlies get wrong time and time again is treating self-care as a reward for working hard. They treat themselves to nice things only when they’re on the brink of a breakdown.
But self-care shouldn’t be something you turn to when you’re already falling apart.
It’s what stops you from getting there in the first place.
And it starts with prioritising sustainable habits that seamlessly fit into your lifestyle, even when life gets messy.
Here are five simple rituals to start with to relax the body and regulate your nervous system.
P.S. I encourage you to save this post (like now!!) so you can come back to it whenever you need to.
1 | Reduce blue light exposure
This one starts earlier than you think.
Winding down after work really begins the moment you walk out the office door, not when you get into bed.
As soon as you shut your laptop down, try to limit how much blue light you’re exposing yourself to. Because as soon as you pick up your phone, scroll through Instagram, or check Slack during your commute home, you’re already undoing the work your mind is trying so hard to switch off from.
If you’re on public transport, swap scrolling for something physical like knitting (I know this sounds unhinged, but at least try it first), or reading a proper book.
Even just putting your headphones in and zoning out to music is a better option than your phone screen.
And try to resist the urge to immediately turn the TV on when you get home. I know watching Netflix feels like winding down, but it’s just more overstimulation.
2 | Have a warm bath
I’ll be the first to admit that the whole “bubble baths = self-care” trope has been done to death. But let’s not throw baths out the window entirely, because they’re actually backed by science.
When you take a warm bath, your body temperature rises, and then when you get out, it triggers a natural cool-down response.
That drop is what tells your brain it’s time to relax. Your heart rate slows down, your muscles stop clenching, and for the first time all day, your body gets the message that it’s safe to switch off.
Add magnesium (which directly supports muscle relaxation) and you’ve basically handed your nervous system a permission slip to exhale.
This is where Prima’s CBD-infused bath bomb has earned a spot in my weekly self-care routine.
The combination of warm water, magnesium, and CBD hits differently and does more for cortisol than another hour of pretending to relax on the couch.
But don’t just stop there. Add some soft music, mood lighting, and even leave your phone in another room and give your nervous system the self-care it truly needs.
3 | Eat a light, nourishing meal
When you’re exhausted and stressed out from the day, the easiest thing to do for dinner is order takeout and eat it in front of the TV.
Don’t lie. We’ve all been there. I literally had Domino’s on speed dial when I lived in London.
Anyway, the thing I didn’t quite understand in my twenties was that you are what you eat. (Yes, I can be blunt sometimes too).
If you eat too much greasy or overly processed food at night, you can wake up the next day feeling even more groggy and lethargic than when you went to bed.
Which is the last thing you need when you’re already running on empty.
A lighter, more balanced meal in the evening gives your body the fuel it needs to repair and digest without making it work overtime or sending you into a food coma by 8 pm.
4 | Gently stretch before sleep
Skip the matching Lululemon set, because you can do this straight from bed.
Yes!! Bed yoga is totally a thing, and it’s just as iconic as it sounds.
Ten minutes of slow, gentle stretching before sleep is enough to release the tension your body has been holding onto all day. It loosens up everything from your clenched jaw and hunched shoulders to your tight hips from sitting at a desk for eight hours.
Stretching also gives your nervous system something slow to focus on, which is exactly the kind of input it needs to start regulating.
Keep it gentle, keep it slow, and stay off your phone while you do it.
5 | Skip the coffee after lunch
This isn’t groundbreaking advice, but most corporate girlies still drink coffee way later in the day than their nervous system can handle.
Caffeine has a half-life of around five hours or longer, which means if you’re having a coffee at 2 pm to help with the afternoon slump, it’s still going to be in your system at 7 or 8 pm.
For a nervous system that’s already struggling to regulate after a long and stressful day, that’s a problem.
So if you’re a multiple-coffees-a-day kinda gal, shift the timing to before lunch or swap your afternoon coffee for something lower in caffeine, like matcha or a herbal tea.
Just see if it makes a difference first to how you feel in the evenings before quitting it entirely.
Final thoughts
That’s it. When it comes to self-care and regulating your nervous system, it doesn’t need to be anything groundbreaking.
The most effective solutions are usually the easiest to implement.
A bath. Ten minutes of stretching. Limiting caffeine. None of it is revolutionary. But done consistently, these small rituals are what get your body into the habit of switching off at the end of the day.
Your nervous system loves routine. So give it one.
Pick one or two ideas from the list, start tonight, and let yourself do the rest.
You’ve got this.
Thalia xx
