I was burnt out for 2 years and never told my boss.
Even after I quit, I said nothing. I just made the excuse that I wanted to travel. I stayed quiet about the anxiety, stress, and overwhelm my role had completely buried me in.
I mean, was it even my responsibility to bring it up in the first place?
Looking back now, I wish I had said something. Because things never got any better. In fact, they actually got worse.
I continued to push through, convincing myself I was fine. Which meant I stopped trusting that what I was experiencing was burnout and started wondering if I was just being dramatic.
And the longer I stayed quiet about something that was deeply affecting my life, the more I stopped respecting myself for it.
So yeah — if you ask me, you should totally tell your boss you’re burnt out. Because if you don’t advocate for yourself at work, no one else is going to do it for you.
But I get that it’s not always that simple. There’s a reason why people stay quiet. There was a reason why I stayed quiet for so long.
So before you decide on anything, I think it’s worth hearing both sides of the conversation first.
P.S. If you’re new here, hey! I’m Thalia. I help 30-something girlies beat burnout and unf*ck their life. Every week(ish), I share content on burnout recovery, self-development, finding joy, and career growth. Subscribe here so you never miss a debrief.
What happens when you stay quiet
Talking about burnout at work can feel uncomfortable AF, especially if you don’t want to seem like you’re not coping.
I mean, no one wants to be that girl who’s always asking for time off or pushing back on deadlines, so you keep your head down and get on with it.
For me, staying quiet just felt like the safer option.
I didn’t want to be seen as the girl who couldn’t handle it. Everyone was stressed out. It wasn’t just me, and so I truly didn’t want to let anyone down by bringing up how awful the work environment was.
I also didn’t fully trust how my boss would react.
So I said nothing. I just kept showing up, performing, and pretending everything was absolutely fine. And I know I’m not alone in that.
You’re not speaking up for yourself because:
- You’re worried it’ll affect how your boss (or team) sees you
- You don’t fully trust how they’ll react
- You’re scared it could put your job at risk
- You don’t want to be seen as the one who can’t handle the pressure
- You’re not even sure how to explain what you’re going through
Each one of these reasons is completely valid. And if there’s anyone who gets all of this, it’s me.
But here’s what I’ve also learnt about staying quiet:
- You keep pushing through until your body forces you to stop
- Small problems that could’ve been fixed early turn into bigger ones
- You start resenting your job more than you already do
- You feel increasingly isolated because no one around you knows what’s going on
- Your performance ends up taking a hit anyway
Why it’s worth speaking up
I’ve seen this play out with so many of my clients, like Natalie.
When we first started working together, she couldn’t sleep properly, struggled to focus, and felt overwhelmed most days. From the outside, she looked fine. She was still showing up and hitting deadlines.
But on the inside, she was barely holding it together.
A few weeks in, she decided to quit her job. She told me it felt like the only way to find relief. And at the time, it made sense. But even after she handed in her notice, the burnout didn’t go away.
Because it wasn’t just the job that was draining her.
It was the pressure she’d been carrying for years. The perfectionism. The guilt. The constant need to prove she was doing enough.
So we took a step back and started again. We worked through the beliefs that tied her worth to productivity and rebuilt her routine around rest and self-trust.
When Natalie felt ready, she went back to her boss, had an honest conversation about how she was feeling, and they redesigned her role to better support her.
She didn’t need to quit. She just needed space to figure out what was actually going on, and the confidence to ask for support.
That’s what telling your boss you’re burnt out can do. It doesn’t always mean walking away from everything you’ve built. Sometimes it’s just the thing you need to help you stay (and slay).
Speaking up can also mean:
- Protecting your energy before you hit breaking point
- Quietly setting the tone for healthier boundaries, even if no one else is doing it
- Building more trust and transparency with your team
- Creating space for honest conversations about what needs to change
- Taking back some control over your time, your energy, and how you show up
- Starting to work in a way that actually feels sustainable
- Finally giving your boss (or company) the chance to actually help
How to tell your boss you’re burnt out
Despite what you might think, your boss isn’t a mind reader.
If you don’t speak up for yourself, they’ll assume you’re fine even though you wake up exhausted, hold back tears at your desk, and lie awake at night worrying about work.
I know it feels easier to say nothing, but I’ve also seen how much better things can get when you finally do.
Speaking up doesn’t mean you’ve failed or you can’t do your job. It means you care enough to want to keep doing it well, and you’re asking for the support you need to make that happen.
So, if you’ve been waiting for the right time or the perfect way to say, “Hey, I’m burnt out” to your boss, this is it.
You’ll find three scripts below — each one for a different situation, because the conversation can look very different depending on who your boss is.
P.S. I encourage you to save this post (like now!!) so you can come back to it whenever you need to.
Script #1: You have a supportive boss
Use this if: You have a decent relationship with your boss and trust that they’ll respond well.
Why it works: You’re being direct and human without oversharing. You’re also making it clear you’re not checked out; you’re asking for support because you want to keep showing up as your best self.
What to say: Hi [your boss’s name], I wanted to grab some time with you because I’ve been struggling a bit lately, and I didn’t want it to start affecting my work without saying something.
I’ve been feeling really burnt out lately, and I think I need some support to get back on track. I want to keep doing good work, but I could do with us having a conversation about [workload / deadlines / how I’m currently working] and figuring out what we can do differently.
Would you be open to that?
Script #2: You’re not sure how they’ll react
Use this if: You don’t fully trust how your boss will react and want to keep it professional.
Why it works: Leading with performance rather than feelings keeps it solution-focused and harder to dismiss. You’re flagging a problem and coming in with ideas, which makes you look self-aware, not like you’re struggling.
What to say: Hi [your boss’s name], I wanted to flag something before it starts showing up in my work. I’ve been stretched to my limit lately, and I can feel it affecting my focus and energy levels.
I want to be upfront about it rather than just push through and burn out completely. I’ve been thinking about what would help, and I have a few ideas.
Would it be okay to find some time this week to talk it through? I just want to make sure I’m set up to keep delivering well.
Script #3: Your boss is part of the problem
Use this if: Your boss is the problem, or you simply don’t feel safe having this conversation with them directly.
Why it works: Going to HR means you’re still advocating for yourself without putting yourself in a vulnerable position with someone who might not handle it well. You’re protecting yourself and asking for support at the same time.
What to say: Hi [HR person’s name], I wanted to reach out because I’ve been finding things really difficult lately, and I don’t feel comfortable raising it directly with my line manager right now.
I’ve been experiencing burnout, and it’s starting to affect my well-being and my ability to do my job well.
I’d really appreciate the chance to have a confidential conversation about what support is available and what my options are. Is that something we could set up this week?
Final thoughts
If you’ve made it this far, first of all, go you. 👏
It’s not easy to admit you’re burnt out, let alone have a conversation about it with the person signing off on your paycheck. But the fact that you’re here means you already know something needs to change.
You don’t need the perfect words or wait for the right time either. Because honestly, there isn’t one.
You just need to take that first step.
And right now, that can look like choosing one of the scripts above (whichever one best suits your situation), booking a meeting with your boss, and choosing yourself over the pressure to always have it together.
You’ve got this.
Thalia xx
P.S. These scripts are for educational and informational purposes only. While they are designed to help you communicate effectively and set healthy boundaries, every workplace and situation is different. Notes by Thalia is not liable for any outcomes, consequences, or reactions that result from the use of these scripts. By using these materials, you agree to take full responsibility for your communications and decisions.
