Let me set the scene.
You quit your job on a whim because it was sucking the life out of you, and you knew you were meant for more.
So you drop $10k on a 5-month trip around Southeast Asia, hoping you’ll find yourself, but you come back home feeling more lost than ever.
The truth is, you don’t actually find yourself while travelling.
Here’s what you need to do instead…
PSA: You won’t find yourself while travelling
When I was 27, I bought a one-way ticket to Southeast Asia and spent an unhealthy $10k trying to figure out what to do with my life. Although it was the trip of a lifetime and I have no regrets, I came home after 5 months feeling more lost than ever.
So, what was the most logical thing for me to do next?
Escape to South America to do it all over again. Obviously.
Did it help? No. But I did teach English in Peru to give me back some sense of purpose and routine.
The truth is, and despite what people think, you don’t magically “find” yourself while travelling.
Yes, travelling in your thirties allows you to experience so many awesome things. It:
- Pushes you out of your comfort zone
- Gives you a fresh perspective on life
- Teaches you things you never knew about yourself
But it’s not a quick-fix solution for all of your problems. And unfortunately, it won’t always give you the answers you are looking for.
Those need to come from you.
How you might feel after your BIG trip
Returning home after a BIG trip abroad is one of the hardest things you’ll have to do.
Nobody talks about how lonely it is. Or how much of an outsider you’ll feel.
You’ve just spent the past 5 or so months riding on the back of a scooter in crazy Bangkok traffic, hanging out with like-minded people, and suddenly you’re back in your hometown trying to make conversation with your friends, but it’s all surface-level — marriage, mortgage, job, babies. And you can no longer resonate.
This was exactly how I was feeling once I came home:
- Lost and confused
- Lonely because everyone was still doing their thing
- Like I had outgrown my friends, family and environment
- Behind in life (I was 28, and while my friends were buying houses and planning to have kids, I was itching to get back on a plane)
- Restless and frustrated with not knowing what was next
- Feeling as though I was less of an adult because I had chosen an unconventional path (my friends described it as a gap year; little did they know that travelling would become my full-time life 18 months later)
- Like I no longer belonged in my home town
- Physically and mentally sick at the thought of having to go back to a 9 to 5
If you are currently experiencing any of these above struggles, just know that you are not alone. They are completely normal.
Instead of feeling frustrated, use this as an opportunity to overhaul certain aspects of your life so you can find inner peace and no longer feel the need to escape.
How to figure out what’s next in 5 steps
I just want to begin by saying it’s 100% normal not to have it all figured out.
Especially after a BIG trip abroad.
You’re coming back home to the environment that kept you small, trying to step into your new self in front of friends and family and probably dealing with reverse culture shock. It’s a lot.
So, take things slow. And ease in.
Sure, some things will be easier to figure out, but other things will take a while. The trick is not to get frustrated. Because soon enough, you will get back on the right path.
Here is your 5-part framework for figuring out what’s next after a BIG trip abroad.
I encourage you to bookmark this page so you can come back to it whenever you need to.
1 | Realign with your core values
The biggest reason why you might currently feel restless is that you’re not clear on what you value most in life. Sure, you went travelling, so you most likely value adventure, but what else drives you?
I’m guessing that before your BIG trip abroad, you followed a path that was expected of you:
- Go to University ✔️
- Get a good job ✔️
- Live in the city ✔️
- Save for a house ✔️
But now, that life doesn’t excite you.
You’ve outgrown the direction you were taking before you went travelling. You’ve outgrown the people and places that no longer align with who you want to be. You’ve outgrown the routines and habits that no longer align with the life you want. You’ve outgrown the outdated beliefs that kept you stuck for so long.
Don’t worry, there is nothing wrong with you. This is completely normal. Travel changes you. And now it’s time to figure out the full extent of that change.
So, give yourself space to realign with what is most important to you.
Your core values are your fundamental beliefs.
They are what guide your behaviours, decisions, actions and goals. Think of them like a compass. When you know what your personal values are, you can pivot with confidence and create a more fulfilling life that is wholeheartedly true to you.
Action steps:
- Reflect on your most rewarding, satisfying and fulfilling moments
- Identify the values that were present within these moments and write them down
- Continue to add to your list until you have 10-15 values that all resonate with you
- Narrow down your master list to just 5 core values
- Compare these values to your current lifestyle—how can you bridge the gap?
2 | Find your Ikigai
Ikigai, meaning ‘reason for being’ is an ancient Japanese philosophy that encourages you to discover your life’s purpose.
It involves identifying the intersection between four parts:
- What you love — your passion and mission
- What you’re good at — your passion and profession
- What the world needs — your mission and vocation
- What you can be paid for — your profession and vocation
When you find your Ikigai, you have essentially found your “bliss” leading to a life of deep satisfaction and fulfilment. You are inspired to get out of bed every day as you are pursuing activities that truly resonate with your inner self.
After you come home from a BIG trip abroad, you may find comfort in exploring your Ikigai and finding out what your true purpose is.
But, just a heads up… it might lead to you travelling full-time and getting paid for doing what you love! This was the exact method I used when I came home after 1.5 years of travelling feeling more lost than ever, and it led me here.*
*By ‘here’ I mean writing weekly blog posts to over 60,000 women all over the world while I split my time between Thailand, Vietnam, Indonesia and Greece.
Action steps:
- Brainstorm the things you love and what brings you joy
- Identify your natural strengths, skills and talents
- Explore how your skills can meet the needs of the world
- Look into job or work opportunities that align with your passions and skills
- Find the sweet spot (Ikigai) between your passion, profession, mission and vocation
3 | Set value-driven goals
Hands up if you constantly compare yourself to travel influencers and people living their best lives. Or you regularly question why you haven’t got your shit together yet, especially after reading Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list.
The truth is, you’re not the problem. Your life goals are.
Let me guess: before you went travelling, you fell into the trap of setting goals you think you “should” achieve rather than going after goals that you truly wanted.
The first step was breaking free and travelling. The next step is to stop yourself from falling into old patterns and creating the life that is expected of you.
So, if you’re feeling unsatisfied in life after your BIG trip, use this time as an opportunity to press pause and set goals that align with your values and will actually set your soul on fire.
I like to call this part creating a roadmap for the next phase of your life.
Action steps:
- Grab your 5 core values from the list above
- Set 1-2 goals that support each of your core values
- Ask yourself, “What is the positive impact on each of my values if I achieve this goal?”
- If you can’t think of anything, then adjust your goal until it aligns with your core values
- Once you’ve set your goals, break them down into manageable chunks
4 | Explore new hobbies
No matter how amazing travelling is, you really can’t do it ALL the time. This coming from a digital nomad.
Unless you become a super successful travel creator, it takes a lot of funds, hard work and discipline to travel full-time. So when you get home from your BIG trip abroad, you’ll probably feel a bit restless or even uninspired as you settle back into everyday life.
But don’t worry; it’s not all doom and gloom from here.
There is a way to keep your newfound passion and excitement for life alive once you’re back home. And there is no better way to do this than trying new hobbies.
Having a set of enjoyable hobbies not only gives more meaning to your life but also adds to your sense of identity and purpose.
During my twenties, I had zero hobbies. (Unless you count dancing in clubs and drinking until I was blackout as a hobby.) At the weekends, all I did was doom-scroll and binge-watch Netflix, which led to a whole lot of self-pity and an emptiness which was hard to shake.
In short, I had lost who I was as a person.
It was only when I went travelling across the world that I learnt the importance of hobbies. I took up hiking, blogging and reading non-fiction books. All the things I continue to this day.
So don’t let this slip away once you get back home. You never know where it might lead.
Action steps:
- Set a 3-minute timer
- Write a bucket list of hobbies you’ve always wanted to try
- Rank your activities from 1 – 10 depending on how much they will push you out of your comfort zone (1 being the least and 10 being the most)
- Take the 10th (or very last) activity on your list and schedule it into your week
- Continue this every week until you’ve completed all the hobbies on your list
5 | Trust the process
Feeling lost is all part of the journey. Life is about losing yourself over and over again, only to find yourself each time on a different path where something even more amazing is waiting for you.
Lean into it and trust the process.
Not knowing what’s next after a BIG trip abroad is not a bad or negative thing. It serves as a reminder that just around the corner of uncertainty is growth.
So lean into this transitional period and embrace the wisdom it gives you, no matter how uncomfortable it might seem.
If you loosen that grip, you might also thoroughly enjoy the process.
Action steps:
- Buy a new blank journal
- Answer 2-3 of these journal prompts every day
- Reflect on the highs and lows of coming home
- Make a note of the most important things you’ve learnt about yourself
- Regularly refer back to your journal when you need a motivation boost
Final thoughts
My life didn’t end when:
- I quit my job at 27 to travel solo
- I swapped my glam life in London to backpack
- I came home after 1.5 years abroad and still felt lost
And neither will yours.
So no matter what stage you currently find yourself in after your BIG trip abroad, you will figure it out.
I promise you.
Follow the steps above to get back where you belong. Don’t be influenced by friends and family back home, and stay true to your authentic self.
- Create a different path for yourself
- Start a new career
- Build the business you’ve always wanted
- Find ways to travel full-time
- Learn something new
The power is in your hands. Just make sure it’s in alignment with what you truly want.
You are more than capable of anything you put your mind to.
You’ve got this,
Thalia xx
