Tomorrow, I’m turning 36. Wtf.
(Yes, I’m a Gemini, whatever that means to you.)
And I’ve got to admit… my life looks extremely different to what I had imagined it would look like when I was in my twenties.
I don’t own a house.
Or a fancy car.
Or an office cubicle.
And I don’t have children.
Sometimes, I don’t even roll out of bed until 10 am.
For someone in their mid-thirties, my life is looking very unconventional right now.
But honestly… I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Here are 30 essential lessons I’ve learnt in my 30s. Buckle up, it’s going to be a wild ride.
P.S. If you’re new here, hey! I’m Thalia. I help burnt-out girlies like you build a life that’s aligned, magnetic, and unapologetically yours. Every week(ish), I share content on burnout recovery, self-development, finding joy, and career growth. Subscribe here so you never miss a debrief.
30 essential life lessons I’ve learnt since entering my 30s
1 | Life is too short not to take risks
Take the leap. Otherwise, you’ll waste even more precious time and energy thinking what if.
2 | It’s never too late to start over
…and you’re never too old. Something that I feel a lot of people forget.
Six years ago, I quit my toxic job in London to travel solo across Southeast Asia for six months and change my life because I wasn’t happy.
Since then, I’ve:
- Travelled the world more than once
- Taught English in Peru and online as a TEFL teacher
- Started a digital web agency with my partner
- Learnt graphic design and SEO
- Created Notes by Thalia and this blog
- Qualified as a Health & Wellness Coach
And now, I’m successfully building the digital nomad lifestyle that I dreamed about years ago. (A world away from studying Fashion at University because I wanted to be a celebrity stylist.)
So, no matter where you currently find yourself or how old you are, just know it’s never too late to start over.
If you have a dream, go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?
3 | Saturn Return is 100% real
I’m the last person to admit that I believe in spiritual wellness and cosmic events, but that unsettling feeling we get during our late twenties to early thirties is all too real.
We can’t help but think we are:
- Behind in life
- On the wrong path
- Missing out on life beyond work
- Not living up to expectations
- Lost and confused
Call it Saturn Return, call it a quarter-life crisis, call it what you want. It happens.
I was in Dubai when I got mine.
The thought of working in an office job for the next forty or so years scared me. And I began to question whether that was really the life I wanted for myself.
Up until that point, I had never really thought about my future.
I just assumed I’d do what everyone else around me was doing. Stay in my job for another 10+ years, get married, buy a house and have children. I realised in that moment that I didn’t actually care about achieving those things. And they wouldn’t make me happy.
But creating my own path and travelling the world would.
Long story short, that moment was the catalyst for me to escape my toxic job. Seven months later, I was on a one-way flight to Southeast Asia. (First stop: Sri Lanka.)
4 | You won’t find yourself while traveling
When I was 27, I bought a one-way ticket to Southeast Asia and spent an unhealthy $10k trying to figure out what to do with my life.
Although it was a trip of a lifetime and I have no regrets, I came home after 5 months feeling more lost than ever.
So, what was the most logical thing for me to do next?
Escape to South America to do it all over again. Obviously.
Did it help? No.
But I did teach English to get back some sense of purpose and routine.
The honest truth is, and despite what people think, you don’t magically “find” yourself while traveling.
Yes, it pushes you out of your comfort zone, gives you a fresh perspective, and teaches you things you never knew about yourself.
But it’s not a quick fix solution for all of your problems.
And it won’t give you the answers you’re looking for.
Those actually need to come from you.
5 | There are millions of paths you can take, so why settle for just one
Life isn’t about living “the same year 75 times.” (Robin Sharma)
It’s about self-discovery and prioritising your dreams and happiness over what is expected of you.
So don’t just settle for one career, one house, one location or one way of living.
Embrace the endless possibilities and give yourself permission to explore all that life has to offer.
To find the right path for you in this current moment, start by mapping out your core values.
When you know what’s important to you, you can carve out a path that aligns with where you are now.
“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
6 | Your timeline is the only timeline
That’s it. That’s the lesson.
7 | You can change your career when you want
Don’t believe what they tell you — a career change is 100% possible at any age.
You just need to take action to make it happen.
I studied Fashion at University and worked as a model agent for six years in London.
After I quit my job to travel, I studied to become a TEFL teacher so I could teach English abroad and earn money while travelling.
That then led me down a digital nomad path where I built this blog. I turned to YouTube and invested in a course to learn as much as I could about SEO. I now have a monthly readership of 100,000 women and make money through 1:1 coaching, digital products, and affiliate marketing.
Growing a brand and audience also allowed me to explore ways where I could help you create your dream life on a personalised and one-to-one level. I’m now a Certified Health Coach, having spent the best part of 2022/23 studying health coaching.
Very different from my days in Fashion.
It’s so accessible to learn new skills online that making a change is extremely possible.
You just need to believe in yourself.
“Let go of the idea that there is only one right decision. The right career, the right person or the right place to be. What makes your choice right is your continual choice of it. You are the master of your fate. Or better said — the choose of your fate. If something no longer feels good to you, you can, at any moment, choose differently.”
Amber lyon
8 | Quitting your job doesn’t fix burnout
Okay, this one is a little rogue coming from me.
Because yes, I did quit my job.
In all fairness though, my job was toxic, so I couldn’t exactly stay. But I also want to be radically honest with you — it wasn’t easy.
I’d lie awake at night thinking, “Was this a mistake? What if I made things worse?”
Not to mention all the stress I was dealing with just got moved straight to my finances. Something I still struggle with today, if I’m honest.
And to top it off, I didn’t wake up the very next day knowing exactly what I wanted out of life.
It took me a good few years (and a lot of blood, sweat, and tears) to actually recover from burnout and build a career I love.
That’s why I’m not the type of girlie to tell you to just quit.
Because you’re not just walking away from your job.
You’re walking away from your entire identity, your safety net, and the only version of success you’ve ever known.
That’s absolutely terrifying, especially when you’re burnt out (which won’t magically disappear the second you leave btw).
And sometimes it gets even messier before it gets better.
So yes, there’s way more to consider than, “Dear boss, I’m quitting. Tomorrow will be my last day.”
9 | Going against the mould is harder than it looks
Quitting your job to travel the world isn’t all sunshine and coconuts.
Sure, travel influencers and digital nomads make it look easy, but there’s a lot more to it than just booking a one-way flight faster than you can say, “I hate my job.”
Don’t be fooled… it is not some manifestation fairytale.
And it certainly doesn’t happen overnight.
There are plenty of mindset shifts and sacrifices that go into designing your ideal lifestyle.
Quitting your stable job means stepping out of your comfort zone and into the unknown, which can be absolutely terrifying.
There’s no routine to follow, no one to check in with you and no paycheck at the end of the month. You’re entirely on your own.
There will be days when you feel confident and clear about your future, but then there will be days when you might question your choices and wonder if you’ve made a huge mistake.
But that’s all part of the process. The key is to embrace the uncertainty and trust yourself.
10 | Mindset really does matter
During my twenties, I had zero self-belief.
I had low self-esteem and would turn to alcohol to give me the confidence I needed to feel validated. I’d spend thousands of dollars on clothes because I believed material possessions would make me feel fulfilled.
But those things only made me feel worse about myself.
It was only when I stopped trying to impress others and started to lean into my true self that things finally changed for me. Now, I no longer look for external validation and instead prioritise self-love and inner acceptance.
Working on my mindset was the key.
It gave me the self-belief I needed to go after my wildest dreams.
It really is the foundation for optimising your entire life.
Without the support of a resilient and positive mindset, you will simply crumble under the pressure of life’s daily challenges.
So, no matter how tempting it is to suddenly quit your job to travel the world, you need to do the inner mindset work first. Because let me tell you, going against the norm is not as easy as it looks.
You need to have the clarity and confidence it takes to stop questioning whether you’re on the right path or not.
You need to have the courage and resilience it takes to tackle any obstacles or setbacks that come your way.
You need to have belief in yourself to make it happen.
“The sun himself is weak when he first rises; and gathers strength and courage as the day gets on.”
Charles Dickens
11 | Fulfilment doesn’t come from material things
When I lived in London, I had a toxic obsession with spending loads of money on clothes I didn’t need.
I believed owning expensive things would make me feel fulfilled and successful.
I thought material things would give me the confidence I needed to feel validated.
Of course, they never actually did.
What I’ve learnt since turning 30 is that true fulfilment doesn’t come from having stuff. For me, it comes from adventure, travel, being authentic, making memories and having a sense of purpose.
Slow, joyful living is my vibe. ✌🏼
12 | There’s more to life than partying
If you’d told me in my mid-twenties that a day would come when I didn’t want to party anymore, I probably would’ve laughed in your face.
I loved to party, mainly as an escape from my toxic job and to avoid nights in by myself.
I had zero love for myself back then and couldn’t bear being at home on my own with my thoughts.
But things changed for me when I went on that first solo trip to Southeast Asia.
Suddenly, I was experiencing life-changing adventures, from spending a weekend on a remote island with zero electricity to climbing Everest Base Camp.
The Everest Base Camp trek wasn’t about summiting mountains. It was a long, slow journey on foot through remote Himalayan villages, high mountain trails, and vast open landscapes that encouraged me to slow down, disconnect, and reflect — one step at a time.
That experience showed me a completely different way of living.
I realised there was more to life than living for the weekends or getting drunk during Sunday brunch. I no longer felt the need to drown my sorrows in alcohol and deafening club music. I had discovered a whole new world of experiences that were far more fulfilling than a night out.
13 | Alcohol is not the answer
When I lived in London during my twenties, I drank a lot.
I know — I was young, free and single, and it’s totally normal to go through this phase. But in all honesty, I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and would often get “blackout” drunk.
I lacked confidence and self-esteem, so I would turn to alcohol to boost my confidence.
I also used it as an escape mechanism from my stressful and unfulfilling 9-to-5 life.
Of course, alcohol is only a quick-fix solution and as soon as the initial effect wore off, I went back to feeling shitty about myself.
It was only when I removed myself from a toxic situation, did the inner mindset work, and learnt to love myself that things changed.
Now, I no longer rely on alcohol to give me that buzz, as I’m finally at peace with myself.
14 | Nobody can fix your life, but you
We strive to become the best versions of ourselves, and yet, we don’t even know what that looks like.
We just have a vague idea of how we want to look — not how we want to feel, think, or act.
And because we’re not clear on what we truly want, we look to influencers, trends, and everyone else to fill in the gaps.
So we quit, we travel, we exercise, we eat well, we get therapy – because these are the things we believe will give us the answers.
But the only person who can fill that gap is you.
Only you know what is right for you. And your values are the only standard worth building your life around.
Once you know what they are, you can let them lead.
15 | Confidence is internal, not external
Thanks in part to our favourite 90s and 00s chick flicks, one of the most popular ways to boost confidence is to undergo a makeover, wear a tight dress and learn to walk in heels. (Think Miss Congeniality, She’s All That, and Coyote Ugly to name a few.)
But these things are only skin-deep.
Just as I would use alcohol as a confidence booster, make-up and clothes are also only quick-fix solutions.
To build real, long-lasting confidence, you need to do the inner work.
- Reframe limiting beliefs
- Lean into your strengths
- Repeat positive affirmations
- Celebrate your wins
- Take messy action
16 | You need to love yourself first
Out of all the steps I took to change my life from a burnt-out model agent to a thriving digital nomad, learning to love myself has been my greatest ever achievement.
Since entering my 30s, I’ve realised that self-love is not just important — it’s essential. Without it, nothing else works.
Going after your dreams and achieving your goals becomes so much easier when you wholeheartedly believe in yourself.
And working on my mindset was the key. Doing the inner work helped me:
- Gain a greater sense of who I was
- Rediscover my passions and hobbies
- Learn to appreciate my own company
- Get super comfortable eating by myself
- Become my own best friend
Self-love is the foundation of everything. Without it, the rest is meaningless.
17 | Yoga is one powerful workout
Despite popular belief, yoga is not just all about doing gentle stretches and breathwork.
It takes strength, balance and flexibility.
This year, I’ve invested more in health and fitness than ever, which has meant doing yoga every morning for 60 minutes in the dreamiest studios (think in the middle of rice fields).
It wasn’t just great for my physical health but my mental and emotional health too.
Spending this time focusing purely on my breath and the way I was moving my body reduced any anxious morning thoughts and helped calm my mind.
Not to mention, being outside in nature helped me feel grounded and present.
18 | Work-life balance does not exist
Well, it only took me 30 or so years to come to this conclusion!
Sure, in theory, your work and life should be at a 50/50 equal balance, but let’s face it — finding and maintaining a 50/50 balance isn’t always going to be realistic.
Some days will demand more from you work-wise, and others will demand more from you life-wise.
That’s why I believe in a fluid work-life harmony rather than a “balance.” One that ebbs and flows depending on your workload, priorities and needs.
19 | Success is what you say it is
From a young age, we’re taught that money and appearance dictate success.
As teens and young adults, we chase a lifestyle rich in material possessions to impress others. By our thirties, success is often seen as having a demanding career, owning a house, and being married with children.
Unfortunately, this one-size-fits-all version of success keeps many of us stuck in a life we don’t want.
This was definitely me for a good chunk of my twenties before I decided to make a change. And what I’ve realised since making that change is that success is unique to you.
It doesn’t have to be what everyone else says it is.
When you’re unclear about your own definition of success, it’s easy to get caught up in other people’s expectations and make choices based on what you think you “should” be doing with your life rather than what you actually want.
Once you define what success looks like to you, things will suddenly click into place.
“The question we need to ask ourselves is: what is success to me? Your answer may change over time and that’s fine but do yourself this favor – whatever your answer is, don’t choose anything that would jeopardize your soul. Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character.”
Matthew McConaughey
20 | Don’t look back; always look forward
Your past does not define you.
You should never look at your past in shame, anger or regret. Use it as a learning opportunity.
I’m a different person to who I was at 18, 21, 24, and even 27.
Yes, I did some things that I don’t agree with now and should have reacted to certain situations differently, but I didn’t.
And that’s ok.
The most important thing is that I’m aware of my past; I don’t dwell on it and instead learn from it.
21 | Greece is literally the best country in the world
I can’t tell you the exact number, but I’ve travelled to a lot of countries.
And I can say without a doubt — Greece is still my favourite country in the world.
It has history, culture, slow living vibes, beaches, the perfect blue sea and sunsets. Oh, and Greek food is hands down the best cuisine ever. Fact.
Don’t just take it from me. Book that solo trip to Greece and experience the magic yourself.
22 | Nothing will ever beat a coconut and a good book in the morning
My forever non-negotiable daily rituals.
23 | No other movie will ever come close to Lord of the Rings
Because I follow a nomadic life, I’m not always back home in Greece or the UK for Christmas and New Year. This means I miss out on family traditions and celebrations.
So I’ve gotta make my own remote-friendly ones.
My go-to — watching the Lord of The Rings trilogy every year on December 31st while I create my vision board. I’ve been doing it for the past 4 years now, and it never gets old.
Obviously, I can never get through all 3 films in one day, so January 1st is dedicated to Return of The King.
24 | Laughter is the best medicine
Laughter is proven to release the happy hormone — endorphins.
An essential ingredient for a happier and healthier life.
25 | Adults take themselves too seriously
You only live once, so why not make every day count?
Make time for fun, find joy in everything you do, laugh at yourself and live life to the fullest.
26 | Reading a self-help book won’t “fix” you
It takes a lot more than a couple of hundred pages to heal and find inner peace.
27 | There’s no such thing as the right time
The right time is now. Do the thing.
28 | We’re all just winging it
It’s 100% normal not to have your life figured out in your 30s.
No one does. Even the people who look like they have their shit together, are probably just winging it.
Give yourself compassion and loosen that grip on needing to have everything figured out.
Remember, we’re all just living life for the first time making it up as we go.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
George Bernard Shaw
29 | 30 is not old.
I’m not just saying that because I’m turning 36.
Life does not end when you turn 30.
In fact, it has just begun. Since leaving behind my twenties, I know myself a lot more, I’m not afraid to piss people off, say ‘no’ or prioritise my own needs.
I’m more confident, grounded and at peace within myself.
30 | You more than capable
When I told a colleague back in 2017 that I was quitting my job to travel the world, the response I got was, “You’ll be back in 2 weeks.”
I’m not going to lie, the comment disheartened me. It was frustrating that this was what she believed. And it was annoying that a part of me agreed with her.
But there was no way I was going to let someone else’s belief hold me back from my dreams.
Those estimated “2 weeks” turned into 5 months in Southeast Asia and another 12 months in South America.
I’ve since built a digital nomad lifestyle and have been travelling full-time since October 2021.
Every challenge I’ve faced to get me to this point in my life has proven that I can achieve anything I set my mind to. But none of this would have been possible if I didn’t believe that I was truly capable.
So take it from me — you are 100% capable of going after your wildest dreams. You just have to have an unshakable belief in yourself.
Negative comments and self-doubt can hold us back, but the only real limits are the ones we place on ourselves. If you wholeheartedly believe in yourself and stay focused on your why then you are better equipped to handle these objections.
Remember, the only person who needs to recognise your greatness is you.
Do what makes you feel alive, and never settle for anything less.
You are more than capable of far more than you realise. You’ve got this!
Final thoughts
I share these lessons with you in the hopes that they will inspire you in some way or encourage you to make a change.
I’m sure there are a bunch of other things I’ve learnt since turning 30 (like the dial on a toaster being for minutes, not the level of toastiness), but the ones above resonate with me the most right now.
I would love to hear which life lesson(s) resonated with you the most. Or maybe you have a different lesson to share. Drop a comment below or feel free to reach out. My inbox is always open.
Writing this blog post was extremely cathartic for me and brought back a ton of memories.
It’s so important to take a moment to reflect every so often and appreciate how far we’ve come; otherwise, we get lost in our shortcomings. This is also another essential lesson I’ve learnt.
So if you take anything from this blog post, make sure it’s this…
Celebrate you. Celebrate every single win, no matter how small. Acknowledge each milestone you reach and give yourself more love and appreciation.
You’re doing amazing. Keep going.
You’ve got this,
Thalia xx
