Last month, I wrote about navigating motivation in times of overwhelm and low energy.
This was inspired by my own situation at the time.
My blog posts are always written from the heart, so they often mirror my current situation and how I manage to get through things.
Anyway, a big reason behind my lack of motivation was due in part to a lack of confidence.
Lacking confidence in my capabilities.
Lacking confidence in my business.
Lacking confidence in my journey.
Since pressing publish on that original blog post, I’ve been doing a lot better. I guess getting all of my thoughts and feelings out of my head and on paper really helped me come to terms with all the emotions I was experiencing.
I often say my blog is basically my online journal, and that just proves it.
So what did I do to get out of my funk?
I invested in myself, my mindset and my business, introduced positive affirmations into my morning routine and moved to Bangkok for the foreseeable future (there’s nothing like a change of scene to boost creativity and inspiration).
I’ve also implemented some confidence-boosting strategies, which have been an absolute game-changer!
Why you might lack confidence
Ok, let’s get something straight — it is completely common to lack confidence.
So just know that you are not alone in this. I’ve lacked true confidence for the majority of my life.
Growing up, I was very shy around others. I cried all the time and was afraid to voice my thoughts or opinions. In my twenties, I used alcohol and some recreational drugs to boost my confidence.
Of course, this was only a quick-fix solution, and as soon as the initial effects wore off, I went back to feeling unconfident.
It’s only been in my thirties that I’ve felt more confident in myself.
However, comments made by others and comparisons have all stopped me from fully believing in my true potential.
And that’s the problem with lacking confidence — it sabotages you. It stops you from moving forward as you lack the self-belief and courage to even try.
Low self-esteem also prevents you from viewing your progress as something to be proud of, as you’re constantly doubting yourself.
So where does a lack of confidence come from?
Unfortunately, it stems from a lot of places, including:
- Past failures or criticisms
- Childhood experiences
- Comparison to others
- Negative self-talk, limiting beliefs and internalising self-doubt
- Unresolved trauma or abusive relationships
- Toxic friendships or family members
In my case, low confidence and self-esteem came from the limiting beliefs I was holding onto internally. It was only when I broke free of these beliefs that I was able to see my true worth.
Benefits of boosting self-confidence
I believe self-confidence is the foundation of making your dreams happen.
How can you show up for yourself and take action if you lack the confidence to even try?
The problem — building confidence is a catch-22.
To build confidence you need to succeed in doing something, like reaching a goal or sticking to a habit for 3 months. The more you accomplish, the more confident you naturally become.
But before you can reach this higher level of confidence, you must first lay the groundwork. And this comes down to cultivating a healthy and resilient mindset.
Boosting your confidence by focusing on your mindset will help you to:
- Tackle obstacles head-on with resilience and self-belief
- Turn failures and setbacks into opportunities for growth
- Keeps you focused, motivated and committed to your goals
- Confidently deal with criticism and bounce back with ease
- Step out of your comfort zone and take risks with confidence
5 ways to boost your self-confidence
Thanks in part to our favourite 00s chick flicks, one of the most popular ways to boost confidence is to put on some make-up and wear a killer outfit with heels. But these things are only skin-deep.
Just as I would use alcohol as a confidence booster, make-up and clothes are also only quick-fix solutions.
To build real, long-lasting confidence, you need to do the internal work. And this all starts with overcoming any limiting beliefs that tell you you’re incapable.
I encourage you to bookmark this post so you can refer back to it whenever you need to.
1 | Reframe limiting beliefs into empowering alternatives
Limiting beliefs are unhelpful, negative thoughts that are rarely grounded in truth. They hold you back from pursuing your goals, causing self-doubt and a lack of confidence.
Overcoming these beliefs is challenging as they often go unnoticed.
Your beliefs have been rooted in your mind since childhood, and your self-image has been shaped by others’ opinions and attitudes toward you — whether positive or negative.
And because these beliefs and thoughts have been present for nearly your whole life, you deem them as normal.
The first step to breaking free from your limiting beliefs is awareness. You can’t begin to change and improve something if you’re not even aware that it’s sabotaging you in the first place.
Start to identify your limiting beliefs by reflecting using these journal prompts:
- What beliefs do I hold about myself and the world?
- What are the benefits of holding on to these beliefs?
- How are these beliefs holding me back from pursuing my goals?
- What is it costing me to continue to believe these things?
- What would it give me to let go of these beliefs?
Once you’ve identified your limiting belief(s) and are aware that it doesn’t offer you anything other than self-sabotage, I encourage you to reframe it into something more empowering.
For example:
Limiting belief = “I’m not good enough to succeed in my career.”
Empowering belief = “I am constantly improving and learning, and I have the capability to succeed in my career through dedication and continued growth.”
Keep repeating your empowering alternative until you have changed your thinking and believe it to be true.
2 | Realign with your core values
Core values are the things that are most important to you. They guide your behaviours, decisions and actions.
In short, they give more meaning to your life.
When you’re in tune with your core values and living in alignment with them each day, you can feel more fulfilled and have a greater sense of self-worth and happiness.
Which, in turn, boosts confidence!
Since becoming clear on my own core values, I’ve felt even more grounded within myself.
For the past 5 years, I’ve been on a self-discovery journey, which has recently led me to become a digital nomad.
When so many of your friends and family ask, “When are you going to return to the UK and settle down?” you begin to question your own lifestyle and whether you are actually making the right decisions.
But getting clear on what is most important to me has solidified that how I currently choose to live is in alignment with my core values.
I know I mentioned earlier that I lacked confidence in my journey, but I think it’s normal to have a wobble every so often.
Reminding yourself of your core values and vision regularly is what pulls you out of a funk, increases motivation and fuels you to keep going!
3 | Lean into your strengths
When we play to our weaknesses, we hold ourselves back.
We don’t allow ourselves to take risks that will move us forward, and instead, we remain playing small. This is usually out of a fear of getting it wrong, failing or looking bad in front of others.
And this of course, adds to the cycle of low self-esteem and confidence.
If you keep holding yourself back, you stick with the belief that you’re not capable of anything.
But when you lean into your strengths, you gain the confidence you need to achieve more. By focusing on your skills and expertise, you empower yourself to grow and thrive.
When I ask my clients to focus on their strengths, it completely changes their outlook for the day.
They sometimes start our session feeling unmotivated and slightly defeated. But getting them to think about their strengths and allowing them to say nice things about themselves for once has a transformative impact.
Each and every one of them leaves my session feeling more confident than when they first arrived.
So, if you want to start boosting confidence today, identify your strengths and lean into them.
4 | Repeat positive affirmations
Along with reframing limiting beliefs, you can also use affirmations to cultivate a more resilient mindset.
Affirmations are short, positive mantras that help rewire your thinking patterns.
They interrupt your negative thoughts and transform them into empowering ones so you can cultivate more positivity and happiness in your life.
Imagine waking up every morning feeling ready to conquer the day.
You have the energy, motivation and confidence to go after your deepest desires and dreams.
That’s the power of positive affirmations. They serve as valuable mini-tools that allow you to recognise your own ability and potential and inspire you to keep going.
So get into the habit of repeating 1-3 positive affirmations every day, morning and evening before you go to bed.
5 | Celebrate your wins
As humans (don’t ask me why), we tend to fixate on our shortcomings rather than our successes.
Imagine you got a promotion this year, made $10k and set a date for your wedding. Chances are you’ll focus on the fact that you didn’t manage to go on holiday rather than celebrate everything else you did achieve.
And what happens when you put yourself down? Your self-esteem takes a huge hit.
But if you do the opposite and focus on the progress you are making, you’ll feel way more confident.
So, celebrate every single win!
Acknowledge each milestone and give yourself more credit. Even if all you’ve done is made it out of bed, showered and got dressed. This is still progress.
Celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small. I promise this simple act will not only boost your confidence but will also motivate you to keep moving forward.
To celebrate your wins, I encourage you to:
- Keep a journal where you note down your accomplishments
- Say them out loud (you don’t need to shout it from the rooftop, but at least verbally acknowledge your wins)
- Share your wins with a close friend or loved one to make it feel even more real
Save this bite-sized version on Pinterest:
Final thoughts
Having confidence is extremely important. It’s an essential element of any journey.
Without confidence, how can you trust yourself enough to navigate challenges, make crucial decisions or take risks that lead to growth?
And for that reason, confidence is one of my core values. It guides my decision-making and actions, allowing me to regularly reflect on how confident I’m feeling.
When setting a new goal, I always ask myself, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident do you feel with this?”
If my confidence score is high, I know I’m on the right track. But if it’s low, there’s a barrier (like a limiting belief) that I must overcome. Implementing the above strategies has been crucial in boosting my confidence to a 9 or 10.
To recap, the 5 ways you can boost your own self-confidence are:
- Reframe limiting beliefs into empowering alternatives
- Realign with your core values
- Lean into your strengths
- Repeat positive affirmations
- Celebrate your wins
I encourage you to bookmark this post so you can refer back to it whenever you need to.
You’ve got this,
Thalia xx
