My biggest ever love-hate relationship is with the city.
I mean… let’s face it…
One minute you’re vibing with the energy, the exciting opportunities, and the late-night hotspots.
The next, you’re crying into your overpriced iced matcha latte because your boss just scheduled a 7 a.m. meeting again and you’re drained AF.
I get it. I’ve been there. I burnt out hard when I was living in London.
The constant pressure to perform at work, maintain a social life and keep up with the latest foodie or bar launch left me feeling burnt out and questioning if this life was actually worth it.
And as I write this from Bangkok, an even crazier city than London, I’ve realised that you don’t need to leave the city to feel better.
You can rest, recover, and thrive right where you are. But only if you learn to prioritise yourself.
Let me show you how…
P.S. This post isn’t about bed rotting and doing nothing. It’s about being intentional with your time and getting your spark back. So only read it if you’re ready to put in the work.
My burnout backstory
From 2011 to 2017, I was mentally drained by a toxic job, an unhealthy lifestyle, and a fast-paced but incredibly lonely city.
To an outsider, my life was glamorous: my job was well-paid, my social life was booming, and I was living in London— one of the most iconic cities in the world.
But the reality? Burnout, overwhelm, and constant anxiety.
My life didn’t feel like mine.
It was controlled by a demanding boss, a chaotic schedule, and the pressure to keep up. Every morning, I’d wake up and think, “Is this it? Is this what my life will be like for the next 40 years?”
Sure, I was grateful to live in a city that so many people dream about, but gratitude alone couldn’t hide how exhausted I felt.
And in 2016, I hit rock bottom.
I was sent to New York for work. It was a city I’d always wanted to experience and I thought it might be my fresh start.
Instead, it was the loneliest month of my life. I didn’t know anyone. My self-esteem was non-existent, and I spent my evenings scrolling Tinder and eating alone in diners. One night, I desperately tried to open a bottle of wine with no corkscrew, only to end up splashing wine all over the walls of my Airbnb. It was my breaking point.
Fast forward to now, and I’m living in Bangkok, a city that’s even more chaotic than London and New York, but my life here feels different.
I’ve found a way to make city life work for me.
You could go as far as saying I’ve fallen back in love with big cities. Something that I didn’t think would be possible after I left London.
So what changed? Me. I stopped blaming the city, my job, and my circumstances and started working on myself.
Because the truth is, it wasn’t London (or New York) that was the problem. It was my mindset, my lack of resilience, and my refusal to prioritise self-care.
Signs you’re burnt TF out (city girl edition)
PSA: Burnout doesn’t happen overnight.
It creeps up on you slowly until one day, you wake up and don’t feel like yourself anymore. It’s not just about being tired. It’s about feeling physically, mentally and emotionally drained to the point where life feels like one big fat chore.
And if you live in the city, burnout can hit even harder because the hustle never stops. There’s always another deadline to hit, another event to attend or another thing you’re supposed to say “yes” to.
So… how can you tell if you’re actually burnt out, or just having a shitty week?
Here are 8 obvious signs:
- You’re constantly exhausted. You sleep, but it never feels enough
- Work is draining AF. The job you once loved is now a never-ending grind, and the only thing getting you through it is that last-minute vacation you’ve booked for next month
- You’ve lost your spark. Everything you used to do for fun now feels like a chore, and you can’t remember the last time you genuinely felt excited about something
- Social burnout is real. The group chats are on fire, but the idea of actually meeting up makes you want to fake a last-minute emergency. Even casual coffee dates feel like way too much effort
- The city feels overwhelming. The constant crowds, noise, party scene, and endless choices are all getting to be too much and you find yourself bed rotting at the weekends rather than making the most of where you live
- You’re irritable and on edge. The tiniest inconvenience like someone walking too slowly in front of you or shit weather can set you off, leaving you feeling more frustrated than usual
- Your body has lost its glow. You’ve got constant headaches, stomach issues, unexplained aches, and just feel “off”
- You’ve stopped caring. Deadlines, relationships, your personal goals, all feel pointless
If you swiped right to any (or all) of these, just know that you are not alone.
There are so many other corporate gals who are going through the motions too. I was one of those women, but I managed to break through the barriers keeping me stuck and fall in love with the city again.
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’ve been running on empty for far too long. The good news? You can absolutely turn it around.
Here are the exact no-BS steps you can take NOW to recover from burnout and thrive in the BIG city.
5 ways to beat burnout (city girl edition)
Just a heads up—these no BS tips are based on my own experience. They are what worked for me when I moved to Bangkok to stop me from slipping into bad habits and hitting burnout again.
Because trust me, it ain’t cute.
I share these tips in the hopes they will help you in some way — whether that’s to give you support, inspire you to make a change or make you feel less alone.
Feel free to bookmark this page so you can come back to it whenever you need to.
You’ve got this.
1 | Do the deep inner work
Let’s be real: if you’re not in the right headspace, no amount of bubble baths or yoga classes is going to fix the burnout.
Mindset work is your foundation. How you view yourself and your situation shapes everything else.
When I hit rock bottom in New York, leaving the city or quitting my job wasn’t what got me out of that rut. It was changing the way I showed up for myself.
The truth is, when I lived in London, my mindset was toxic.
I had low self-esteem and would turn to drugs and alcohol to give me the confidence I needed to feel validated.
I’d spend thousands of dollars on clothes because I believed material possessions would make me feel fulfilled. Then, I’d post sexy pictures on Instagram and cling to the buzz the “likes” gave me.
But ultimately, those things only made me feel worse about myself.
It was only when I stopped trying to impress others and started to lean into my true self that things finally changed for me.
I started focusing on self-acceptance and deep inner love by travelling solo, practising gratitude, and letting go of the need for external validation.
Mindset work and self-love practices are honestly the only ways you can stop burnout. Because you need to learn that your worth is not dictated by your job title, salary or the opinions of others.
It comes down to how much you deeply respect and trust yourself.
Action steps:
- Write down 3 things you’re grateful for about yourself every day
- Identify one limiting belief you’re holding onto and challenge it (because it’s probably not true)
- Spend time by yourself with zero distractions — embrace the discomfort
- Get comfortable with being naked and checking yourself out in the mirror
- Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations
2 | Build “no fucks given” resilience
Let’s face it: unexpected setbacks and obstacles are bound to happen.
Whether it’s a demanding boss, train delays, or feeling overwhelmed by crowds of people, challenges are unavoidable when you live in the city — it’s a fact of life. But that doesn’t mean it all has to go to shit.
It all comes down to embracing that Beth Dutton, “no fucks given” energy.
Building resilience is not about toxic positivity. It’s about being able to work through the shitty parts of life in a healthy way and then being able to move on. Full stop. (aka, not playing the victim.)
Building resilience is not about being tough 24/7. It’s about your bounce-back rate. The more resilience you have, the quicker you can bounce back from setbacks.
Building resilience is not about avoiding stress. It’s about learning to navigate it better so you can thrive despite the overwhelm.
Building resilience doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that starts with your mindset. (As if you thought you could skip step 1. )
Start small. Set boundaries, say ‘no’ to the things that don’t serve you (e.g. friends, parties, habits, etc.) and step away from the alcohol.
Resilience does not come from regular blackouts. It comes from showing up for yourself every single day, even when life gets messy.
Action steps:
- Reframe challenges by asking, “What is this teaching me?” instead of “Why is this happening to me?”
- Identify your iconic strengths and OWN IT
- Set 1 small boundary with work or a friend this week
- Start a regular journaling practice
- Celebrate your wins, no matter how small
3 | Work hard. Glow harder.
PSA: Your body often feels burnt out before your brain does.
When you’re surviving on caffeine, takeouts, and four hours of sleep, it’s only a matter of time before your body gives up.
That’s why prioritising your wellness is essential. It’s not just a luxury but the ultimate power move to get your energy back and feel like your unstoppable self again.
When I moved to Bangkok, I made sure my wellness was non-negotiable. My routine looked a little like this and it was an absolute game-changer in helping me show up every day as my best self:
- Regular yoga and Muay Thai workout classes (thank you, ClassPass for making this possible!)
- Bi-weekly ice bath sessions to help calm my mind and boost focus
- Heading to the Onsen Spa every Monday to help me recover and relax (at $16 for an all-day pass, you can’t go wrong)
- Monthly massages and pedicures to pamper my skin and muscles
- Regular brunch dates with myself
P.S. Wellness isn’t just about green smoothies or gym selfies. It’s about creating sustainable habits that help you glow up from the inside out. Start small and find what works for you because when your body thrives, so does everything else in your life.
Action steps:
- Avoid eating out and instead start cooking for yourself
- Schedule movement into your day, even if it’s just a 20-minute walk in the park
- Set a consistent bedtime and aim for at least 7–8 hours of sleep
- Create a morning routine that energises you (think yoga, meditation, or a quick journaling session)
- Stay hydrated by drinking at least 2–3 litres of water daily
4 | Build a ‘hell yes’ life outside of work
Who are you outside of your job?
If your answer is, “I have no fucking clue” then it might be time to change that.
Say it with me… Your job is what you do, not who you are.
When I was stuck in my burnout era, my entire identity revolved around being a model agent. I had no hobbies or interests outside of work. My free time was also mostly spent partying and getting drunk to escape my unhappiness.
To deal with the burnout, I decided to burn my life down to the ground. I quit my job, sold everything, and left London for good. But I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to blow up your entire life.
There is another way. (An easier way.)
The first step… making the most out of your 5-to-9 routine.
Instead of spending your evenings rotting in bed and binge-watching Netflix, get intentional. Hold space for the things that will support your growth and help you create a more fulfilling life.
Action steps:
- Set boundaries with work — log off at a reasonable hour and don’t check emails after hours
- Start a new hobby that you’ve always wanted to try
- Spend time exploring the city like a tourist at night
- Dedicate one day a week to doing something purely for fun
- Build an evening routine that allows you to show up as your best self
5 | Find a tribe beyond the party scene
It might feel like the only way to socialise in the city is at bars, clubs, and bottomless brunches. And sure, that’s fun— if you’ve got the energy. But when you’re burnt out, it’s not sustainable.
Trust me, I learnt the hard way that spending time with the wrong crowd can drain you even more.
Instead of spending all your time with people whose idea of fun is bar hopping until 2 a.m., find a tribe that matches your vibe.
People who actually get you and don’t make you feel bad for saying ‘no’ to yet another night out, or like you have to knock back 5 tequila shots to keep up.
You don’t need a massive group. Just a few solid people who make you feel good to be around. The kind of friends who will cheer you on when you’re working on yourself and keep you grounded when city life gets overwhelming.
P.S. This ALL comes down to knowing who the fuck you are, and getting clear on your values.
So, if you’ve skipped step 1, make sure you go back and work through this post again.
Action steps:
- Join an in-person fitness class
- Use apps like Meet-up, Bumble BFF or Time Left to connect with people in your area
- Say yes to at least one invite outside your comfort zone this month
- Attend regular networking events with like-minded people
- Host a casual get-together with people you’ve met (think brunch, a nature hike, picnic, or movie night)
Bonus | Read Stay & Slay
This is the book I wish I had when I was deep in burnout and thought the only way out was quitting.
Don’t get me wrong, my job was toxic, and I knew I couldn’t stay. But after walking away, it took me another few years to figure out how to recover from burnout and build a career that actually feels good.
This book is everything I learned along the way (minus all the trial and error).
If you’re feeling stuck, exhausted, or just want a more sustainable way to work (and live in the city), I honestly think you’ll find something in here that helps.
Action steps:
- Get your copy of Stay & Slay
- Sit somewhere quiet and read one chapter at a time (no need to rush)
- Highlight or jot down anything that resonates with you
- Slay-as-you-go by working through the companion workbook alongside each section
- Come back to your favourite sections whenever you need a boost or reminder
Final thoughts
The thing about recovering from burnout is you don’t need to do absolutely nothing.
Sure, you’re exhausted from a stressful job, and you need to rest, which I’m all for. But will rotting in bed make you feel better? Or will it just make you feel worse?
The truth is… hiding under the covers won’t magically cure your burnout. Nor will it fix how you feel about your job.
You need to take intentional action to rebuild your energy, inner self, and sense of purpose.
You’ve got this.
Thalia xx
